[pingtop286]

My girlfriend and I just broke up 2 days ago. We've been going out for 6 months and we love each other more than anything in the world.

The reason she broke up with me is because she "wasn't ready for a serious relationship"... this after 6 months... She said she needed to time to fix her other friendships that over the 6 months have gone somewhat astray.

However... she said she will take me back when she is ready. And right now she considers us friends with "benefits". LOL. Benefits being holding hands in the hallways at school and even kissing.

I've begged her to take me back, and it's hurting her just as much as it's hurting me. While we were both crying she told me she wants to take me back so bad, but she just can't right now. I just want to know why we can't just be casual b/f and g/f until she's ready to go serious.

I'm scared... I told her I would wait for her and that she promised that she would take me back. But I just don't know how long it will be. I fear if it is too long even though we're "friends with benefits", my love for her will fade eventually. Especially after school's out for the summer. Then we won't see each other every day.

And I'm also scared that she meet someone else. Even though she said she would take me back, she said she didn't know if she would have another b/f between. This really shocked me... Why would she dump me because she's not ready for a relationship, but then get another b/f? She said it wouldn't be serious... just casual... but if she wanted a casual b/f. Why wouldn't it be me? She's told me that I'm the one for her and we both love each other with all of our hearts. And I'm scared that she'll meet someone while we're separated and she'll really start to like him and pretty soon they're dating and it becomes serious and she forgets about me because she's waited so long her love for me has died.

I'm just so confused. Ever since she dumped me I've been thinking about her 24/7. I'm lonely and empty inside even though she still loves me and always will. I just need her back because she holds my life together.

Does anyone have any suggestions or help they can offer me to make this easier. Any insight on the situation? Thank you very much...

Pingtop :'(

[bluebell11]

I'm no expert or anything but it sounds like maybe she just wants to date other people for a while, to see what else is out there and that she pretty much just wants some space. Have you tried asking her about being a casual b/f? Maybe she just feels like she can't really be in a casual relationship with you, because you both already have a deeper relationship going on. Sometimes if you give someone some space, they'll realize what they're missing soon enough. It sounds like she just needs some space to sort things out. If she really loves you, I'm sure she'll come back to you, once she has time to miss you. In the meantime just take care of yourself, and focus on things that can make you happy other than her. Good luck :)

[jolly-angel]

You sound like a really lovely caring guy :)
I remember when I was at school (long time ago! ) my friends where the most important people to me! Boyfriends were a bonus ! Maybe she feels that she is too young for anything heavy and while she likes the attention from you and the "benefits" perhaps she's not ready for anything more?
Be patient with her and don't crowd her or you will scare her off! Look busy yourself and always look as though you are having fun... maybe a little unavailable ? Believe the more unavailable you are the more she will want you

You probably won't like me saying this but if it doesn't work out there are a 1000 other girls out there that would love you to be their guy ;) enjoy yourself while you are young
Tara

[cant_rain_forever]

Hey there,
Well, I myself have been going through the same problem as you. But the thing is that my girl didn't say anything about her moving on with someone else or anything in that matter. She said that she'd talk to me after her exams in a couple of weeks. I myself am in very bad shape as well. You sound like a nice guy, and I am pretty sure of it. What I did was just wrote her one last email, admitting of where it went wrong during the relationship, and admitting all my mistakes. I didn't beg for her to come back, cause I have swallowed enough of my pride already with putting up with her y attitiude. I can't guarantee myself that we'll be back together, but I do have a lot of hope for some reason. But I'm trying to not depend on it. So my advice to you is just give her time and don't be in her face... at all. I say it's better that way. The best is when you do come in contact with her, show her you care, but don't show your lust for her, meaning, don't attempt to kiss or hold hands with her, and don't try to push anything that can contribute you to being rejected, it is only for your benefit. I know it's hard to resist the urge, but for some reason, people seem to want what they can't have. And once they get it, the worthy ones are the ones that'll know how to appreciate things. I am hoping for all the luck in the world for you getting her back my dear friend, and I truly understand the weather you are in, cause I am under the same sky as you. My friends gave me the advice I am giving to you. Though sometimes I tend to think negative thoughts as well, but I always keep in mind that they're just thoughts that I generate in my head. Just take the advice, cause that's the path I had chosen, and no matter how much it hurts inside, I know it's hard, the best is to keep your head up, cause you have done everything in your will to keep her, just let time heal your wounds, and keep your mind occupied by doing useful things. Moping will not change anything. If you have a dog, take it for a long walk somewhere where there is a lot of people like downtown. Be happy. Wish you all the luck in the world! Cheers!

[mtybaldone]

These other guys have given you great advise, but the most import thing is to make yourself unavaible. You need to show her that she is not the center of your life. Start hanging out with your friends and have fun. Go find another girl to date, even if you and the new girl are just friends, start hanging out a little bit. If you see her, always have somewhere else you are supposed to be, like you only have time to say hello because you are so busy having fun without her. Blow her off as much as possible and if she sees you, pretend (I know this will be tough) that your life is so much better now that you are single. Be careful, though, don't go too far or she will know you are full of it, but the point is that you need to show her that you can be happy wihtout her is your life. This will make her want you.
One other thing, you are really stressing over lots of things which you have absolutley no control over. What happens over the summer or who she may meet in the meantime are all things that you can do nothing about. All you can control is yourself, so do that, and stop worrying about her or what is going to happen in the future. Just try to keep your focus on what you can do today to make sure that you are a happy single guy.
Best of luck!