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sarah11282 · Jul 14, 2005, 07:40 AM

My 'best friend' is acting very strange. She has been for the past year or so. She is not some one easy to talk to but it seems that she has a problem with her friends and their boyfriends.
For example my ex, we finished a month ago and I saw her last night trying in on with him. Also when we were going out I found out she was trying it on with him.
I also have another friend that is pregnant. She tried it on with her boyfriend and she did go with him. But that got all sorted - it was only the beginning of the relationship. But now my friend is pregnant and my 'best friend' is still trying it on with her boyfriend. Its not just us too. She always wants to go with all her friends boyfriends and sometimes she succeeds. I really don't know what to do. She won't talk about it. Just changes subject or ignores it if I bring it up. I don't understand the thrill she gets out of doing what she is doing. And I really am scared it is going to go to far some night and something very important will be wrecked.
I know the 'boyfriends' are not worth it if they go with her but she keeps trying and trying especially when they are drunk.
I really don't understand her at all!!

Wildcat21 · Jul 14, 2005, 08:21 AM

Wow Sarah, what's up with your friend? Wild girl stage?

Does she really want that ype of reputation?

Sounds like she really reacting on feelings instead of thinking straight.

She going gto get into a lot trouble here that I am sure she doesn't want to get into.

Wildcat21 · Jul 14, 2005, 08:22 AM

Some needs to sit thus gal down and straighten her out.

I assume drugs and alcohol are involved - no question.

sarah11282 · Jul 14, 2005, 08:31 AM

Drink is always involved. No drugs though. We all 21 so we go out 2-3 times a week and drink involved most nights! She is not a very approachable person and she won't talk about it. All of her friends have lost respect for her including me and it really doesn't help when everyone has to keep a close eye on their boyfriends when she about but I have known her all my life and she is god mother to my child so I would really like to help her. I just don't know how.

Wildcat21 · Jul 14, 2005, 08:44 AM

You got to sit her down and talk with her. Whe nshe is sober and not hung over - can plan to meet for a lunch sometime.

I know a gal like that and she's 40. All my married woman friends have to keep an eye out on their husbands.

You have to be honest with her and tell her what everyone thinks.

No one wants to be around someone like that. It's about TRUST.

fredg · Jul 14, 2005, 09:34 AM

Hi,
This might sound cruel, hope not, but you need another "best friend".
Leave this friend alone for awhile, like for a couple of months.
Don't see this friend anymore for awhile.
Let them decide what they want.
Don't let this "friend" drag you down, too.
Best of luck,
fredg

sarah11282 · Jul 15, 2005, 02:19 AM

I don't think I will ever trust her again. I suppose she played a part in the end of my relationship with my ex. But I wouldn't throw a 21 year friendship away over a man. But then again when it every man any of her friends are with I don't know.
Do you think she will realize what she is doing or will she keep on this path to self destruction. She is really throwing everything away!

sarah11282 · Jul 15, 2005, 03:35 AM

No I'm not gay but I have to say that made me laugh. I have been friends with this girl since I can remember and we lived beside each other when we were growing up. I am just concerned about her. She is going to be left with no friends and since I can't get her to talk about it I don't know what else to do!

Wildcat21 · Jul 15, 2005, 08:06 AM

No, she has massive issues. Something must have happened to her when she was younger. Abuse? You would know. Or her father left?

She really needs a therapist. She will lose all her friends fast - friendship is based on trust and you have none with her.

I would cut off all ties if possible - pull back. Then if/when she asks why, tell her everything and ask why? She needs to know it's wrong.

With friends like that, who needs enemies.

Hopefully it's a short lived wild girl stage.

Wildcat21 · Jul 15, 2005, 08:07 AM

Don't listen to Joseph - he's just trying to goof on you.

turtlegirl · Jul 15, 2005, 01:37 PM

Yeah, but only troubled people have "wild stages" with their friends' husbands/boyfriends. Boundary issues, anyone?

Wildcat21 · Jul 15, 2005, 02:05 PM

Yes - you are right - I know a woman who is part of my circle of friends going through her Wild Girl stages and she is her 40's.

This woman went to a Great University, MBA, big career woman, married for 12 years (no kids) - divorced. Never had her Wild girl stage - noe she's going nuts.

She's dating 28 year olds now. One after the other.

What's up with the 'New' 40 year old woman - I know a lot who are hornier than ever.