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hi i am susana and i am kind of concerned of what my mother said the other day, well here it is. I'm married and have a son of 2 years old. My husband's family is what is making my mother concerned and have me worried. my husband's brothers are homosexuals. The oldest one is lesbian, the second one is transsexual, the third one is gay, and the last one of 11 years old is surrounded by them. i used to visit my mother in law every Friday, but since my mother told me that i should not take my son to that house, where everybody is homosexual i started to feel really uncomfortable there. She said to me that my son doesn't need that environment, so i didn't want to hear her, but i started to think about it, and i'm thinking about avoiding closure to my husband's family. All of them didn't finish high school, and they seem to care little about the future, since they just work and don't save money. The transsexual one has a night life that i don't respect. I have always avoided any communication with her because of her dirty life. however, i never thought about getting my son away from them. i would just visit my mother in law when none of her sons are in the house. i have been trying to do some research about homosexuality, whether it is ok or not to relate a child to these people, but i can't come up with an answer. What do you think?? should i keep avoiding any contact with my husband's family or should i just forget about it?? i have nothing against homosexuals. i respect them, but if that is going to affect my son's development, i want to take actions now. Please respond.
Susana
September 14, 2007
If they are kind, loving, compassionate people then I don't see the harm.
Whats worse him being around loving family members or taught to hate people on the basis of their sexual orientation?
The person who your child should be kept away from is your mother. If you don't want those values taught to your kids be careful. If she spends time with your child alone God only know what she is saying.
If you do not share these beliefs the best thing you can do is show your child how to be tolerant and that bigotry and hatred are awful qualities.
Are you afraid that your son would be unduly influenced by their lifestyles or that they would try and recruit your son to their lifestyles?
As far as I know, and I will admit I do not know more than a a couple dozen people in an alternative lifestyle, they do not go around soliciting from children. I think it would be important for you to allow the interactions. To hold him back - isn't he going to wonder why he never sees this aunt or that uncle? The part about how they never have succeeded in life, that would be a lesson to your son that he should apply himself in school and beyond.
Talk to your husband about this. If he shares your concerns, then you both need to address what you are going to do. If you two disagree, then you still need to sit down and talk through this. Also remember, this is your child and your husband's family. Your Mother may be voicing her own fears here and thinking that your son will somehow "catch" the lifestyles embraced by some of your in-laws. That is not possible.
Susy, why block them off from them if they are loving and caring?
Think a long time about whether you want to stay away from them because of your mother or yourself.
What is wrong with homosexuals? Nothing. They bleed, smile, laugh, play, and can help you raise your child.
The only reason to not see them is because of what they do, not because of who they are.
hating homosexuals is like being racist, one day everyone will be looked at the same and parents like you need to help your child understand that it is ok. What if your child turns out to be gay? (Im not saying he will be turned gay, as i do not think it is a choice) If he thinks you do not like homosexuals he may not open up to you.
I don't think she said anything about hating them, her question was should she expose her son to their lifestyle.
If I had a girl friend who I know was a slut, and was not very discreet about what she did and where, I would not have my child around her. There are just some things kids don't need to see. The same with homosexuals. As long as they are not doing sexual stuff around him I would not have a problem.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having your child around homosexuals.
You speak of 2 different issues....one about not wanting your child around them because they are gay....the second is because of them not finishing high school etc. I hope you are not trying to relate the two issues. Just because they are gay does not mean that was why they didn't finish school. And as far as a "night life" goes...many heterosexuals have just as bad "night lifes"...but as long as it is not affecting your child then what does it matter what they do during thier social time?
Homosexuality is not something you can "catch"....your child is not going to see them and say "oh hey that looks cool, I think I will be gay too"....it doesn't work that way.
If anything your child will be blessed to have a higher education, and be more open minded because he will be educated on the differences in people, and how great love is between ANYONE.
I have many many homosexual friends and they have all been around my daughter since the day she was born. I know whole-heartedly I could put her life in their hands. I laugh now as I remember my one gay friend came to visit and we were all driving somewhere, he was in the back seat with my daughter...he piped up and said "hey Michelle, do you know MacKenzie is teething"!!!! My daughter has been surrounded with nothing but love, and she has learned so much about love. She will be blessed when she is older (she is 5 now) and she can look at a homosexual couple and not think of their love being any different than a heterosexual couple.
I do suggest talking to your child. If any of them bring a partner over, you child may have questions. Recruit one of your inlaws to sit down with you and answer any questions your child may have. My daugther was raised not seeing any difference in homosexuals, so she has never had any questions....she knows that their are boyfriends and girlfriends, boyfriends and boyfriends, and girlfriends and girlfriends....she has always just accepted that and never questioned it.
My daughter has been surrounded with nothing but love, and she has learned so much about love. She will be blessed when she is older (she is 5 now) and she can look at a homosexual couple and not think of their love being any different than a heterosexual couple.
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