There is such a huge laundry list of things my MIL has done to me for past 8 years that it would take all night to write. While some of her actions are oblviously inappropriate behavior that is recognized by others... I would say 70% goes unnoticed by anyone else except me. She is so sneaky and manipulative. She knows exactly what and when to say something to me and not get caught. The tone of her voice, her facial expressions and her overall body language speak for itself. But how can I ever explain these things to my husband who.. well thinks like any normal man. He "sees" nothing wrong. Hubby does deserve credit though because he does believe me and he has spoken to her a few times about some issues we've had... but unless he sees the actual evidence... it's hard to make conclusions as to her true intentions.. . she doesn't fool me for a second though.

We have been married for 8 years, and are so happy, but I just can't seem to learn how to deal with his MIL. I've done research... I've talked to friends and a counselor. I do get that I will NEVER change her... and so somehow I must figure out how to accommodate the situation as best I can.

The main problem with her is that she thinks my girls are hers. She has always wanted girls... and now she has them. Mine that is. She is so controlling and domineering. You can literally feel it in the air when she's around. It's like this unspoken rule that when she is around... she is the mom. She plays it off by being so sugary sweet to me and wording things to her benefit meaning that she looks completely innocent... and I look like the crazy one for having a problem with it. I am nothing but a baby making machine to her. And I truly believe that... which is hurtful... but it's something I've just come to accept. My purpose to my MIL is to give her grandkids. That is my only job. My husband and his family are very close and get together quite often. I have always just gone along with it and bitten my tongue at these events. However, the older I get and the more time that goes by... my tolerance of this behavior is almost nonexistent. I'm becoming this angry, bitter, resentful person who simply dreads having to visit them. I hate that feeling because that is not who I am. My husband continues to ask me, what did she do this time? Do I need to talk to her? I appreciate his support, but I sound like a looney bird when I try to explain. How do I tell him that she stares me down when I'm holding my 2 year old... just waiting for her to get off my lap. Literally she stares at us... she may tap her feet too. LOL. She wants to have her hands on my girls constantly, and if they show me any affection of favor me over her... OMG... it makes her CRAZY... but she never lets on strong enough that it's obvious to the men in the family. The tension is the room is so thick it's debilitating. If my girls ask me to take them "potty" she just about trips over herself trying to beat me to the bathroom so she can do it. Ummm.. whatever... if you want to wipe their butts... be my guest.

We are simply expected to be there for all family functions. I get a call the day before and am told what to bring. I simply hate it. I am so miserable when we are over there. She is nice to me but it's only to keep me happy so she can have access to my kids. And this is not a paranoid statement... it is the god's honest truth. I do not like playing this "victim" role. I don't want sympathy. I just want to put her in her place. I want to tell her to go adopt a child if she wants one so badly. These are MY children. She has had her chance to raiser her own. My girls are so young, and I am pregnant again... so this is not something that is going to go away soon. For the first time, I'm starting to feel scared that my marriage is beginning to suffer because of it. I'm starting to resent my husband even though I know it's not his fault. I avoid her calls and her texts and I make excuses at all costs to avoid her. I've even thought of pulling my daughter out of soccer because that would mean we wouldn't have to see her every damn Saturday. And my daughter loves soccer! But she just ruins every Saturday. All I've ever wanted was a happy family. I feel so possessive over my girls... and I'm wondering if this is normal. I just want to scream at her that they are MINE. I've got a long road ahead of me.. She will be in our lives forever... but I'm reaching a point that I am scared for my marriage. I'm scared I just can't take her crap anymore. Why can't I just give up and let her be in control for the few hours she is around? I guess I have too much pride. But that pride is just eating me up. This has been building for years... but I feel it more now than ever being 71/2 months pregnant. I can't wait for my 3rd daughter to come... but I'm dreading my MIL's constant presence. She will be lurking behind every door waiting to get her hands on my baby. With my last two girls, she would stick her head right by my breast when I nursed... no I'm not kidding. It was so creepy. I need advice. I love my husband so much... but it's his mom for heaven's sake. I don't want him to resent me. If I keep this negativity up... I know he will get tired of it. However, I'm already tired of it myself. My heart is broken because I love him so much and hate that this is hurting him. His mother loves him and treats him like a King... but she is making my life a living hell. What do I do?