Mother and Daughter Relationships, For all you daughters.

Jesushelper76 · #1 Jul 4, 2008, 04:50 PM

I may be stepping in a mindfield, or minefield.

I know I do not quite understand it so I am asking all you Daughters who are married and have a family.

Why is there such an importance with Daughters and mothers, why are daughters always worried about what their mother thinks or worried about everything under the moon and upsetting mom?

Personally I know there is usually a tight bond but when there is a marriage involved why is there still such a worry with everything to do with the mother. Personally experienced this with my wife as well for the longest time, but that is a whole other story.

I hope to hear from both sides of things too.. The mothers and Daughters.

Seen many questions lately on mother and daughter relationships and just curious to hear from all of you.

Hope this is not too much and hope to hear your stories, relationships and reasons for always worrying so much of what the mom thinks, even though you have started a life with somebody else and have your own husbands and families etc.....

Thank you in advance.

Joe

starbuck8 · Jul 5, 2008, 12:58 AM

I'll just comment on my own personal experiece and thoughts Joe.

I think that for one thing, fathers and mothers bond with their same sex children the most. The Dad's with their boys, and the Mom's with their girls. Although you do get Daddy's girls, and Momma's Boys,... (which is sometimes thought of as a bad thing to be a momma's boy, but I don't understand why, except it's associated with being whiny I guess)

Little girls tend to feel uncomfortable asking "Dad" about personal things, so "Mom" is the safer choice. Dad can sometimes be seen as intimidating...especially if you happened to be told when you were young,..."just wait until your Dad gets home!"

We also grew up knowing, "If Mom aint happy...aint nobody happy." On the other hand, if we got in trouble, alot of times Mom told us that she wouldn't tell Dad when he got home, and we wouldn't get in trouble, if we behaved and did what we were told to do. (It was brainwashing...I tell ya!...LOL)

Mom was always the one to fix things too. If we got hurt, she was the one there with the bandaids. If we got into trouble at school, or got in a fight, it was always Mom that came to take care of it...good or bad! Mom was the one that baked cookies, and made hot chocolate on cold or rainy days. Mom was the one that slept with us in our beds when we had a bad dream in the night. Mom was the one that made sure she sent out invitations to all of our friends for our b'day parties, decorated the house for our party, served our favourite food, and made the cake. Mom took us to the mall to buy a pretty dress, so we felt special.

When we got older, we sat and talked to Mom about the boys we liked. Dad was the one that didn't like those boys, but Mom would let us sneak out to go to a movie, or a school dance with him. We sat with Mom and talked about what our weddings would be like, and have "the talk." Mom would do our hair, and all the other girly stuff.

So to upset Mom, is like saying that you don't appreciate everything she's done for you. When Mom's upset with you, you feel like a failure, and that you've let her down if you make a mistake, or let her down.

I think you get my drift Joe. There are some things that Mom does, that Daddy doesn't even understand. Not that Dad wouldn't do it, he just doesn't know about some of the things...because he's an icky Boy, LOL!! But he's still our Daddy, and he does things that Mom can't do for us!!

Your daughter will always need her Daddy, and the bond is just as strong with you, as her Mom, just in a different way Joe!

Jesushelper76 · Jul 5, 2008, 02:49 AM

Thank you Starby for your answer. I get your drift and I see in a lot of newer families that both parents taking just as much of an equal role now. So things are changing but not in the way a daughter looks towards the mom. Appreciate everything Starby.

starbuck8 · Jul 5, 2008, 02:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jesushelper76

Thank you Starby for your answer. I get your drift and I see in a lot of newer families that both parents taking just as much of an equal role now. So things are changing but not in the way a daughter looks towards the mom. Appreciate everything Starby.

I just thought I would let you know, I wasn't trying to imply that you don't try and do those things for your daughter too. I know things are a bit different now, but some things between a mother and a daughter will never change.

Jesushelper76 · Jul 5, 2008, 02:55 AM

I do not have a daughter yet, but that is my next goal. Right now, my little cheeks is a momma's boy but that will change in time I hope. lol
Hope your enjoying your weekend.



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