Living Arrangements.

intendedsighs · #1 Apr 24, 2007, 07:35 AM

Oh yes, ANOTHER post by me...lol, I feel like I have too many questions sometimes...

Anyway...this time it's about living arrangements. I've been living with my future in-laws since about the beginning of February...so almost three months now. The reason? Well, because this area is where my fiance and I plan to live for awhile at least, and my folks live a good hour and a half away, and I wanted to be able to establish a good job before we had to live on our own. SO...that's how that happened. However, my fiance is getting an apartment the beginning of June. He's not putting my name on it quite yet, because for just the two of us, our income is a little over the amount for an income based apartment. We were looking around for other places, but this seems the best for us in location and price. Plus, I kinda fell in love with it the first time we looked at it. It's so open and spacious.

SOOOO....my thought is, I want to be able to move in there with him on the 1st. I don't want him to live there the first month without me, because...well, frankly, it would mean we'd NEVER see each other for that month with the way our work schedules are (his shift is morning, mine is evening)..so basically the only time we really see each other right now is some weekends when I dont work, and the couple hours before we go to sleep, IF he's awake enough to stay up.

Is it bad for me to want to move in with him before our wedding, even though we've basically been living together for the past 7 months? Is it wrong of me to wwant to leave his parents house after all they've done for us (trust me, they've done a LOT)? I just dont want to upset them by leaving before we had agreed to...though it'd be giving them back their space and all, but the other thing is that I think if I'm going to be contributing to groceries and stuff for that first month anyway, I might as well get to stay there and make home for us. I dont know....

intendedsighs · Apr 24, 2007, 11:21 AM

You misunderstood: We ARE getting married. We've been doing all the planning and our date is in the beginning of July. We're not making excuses to not get married.
Secondly...once I moved in, we would put me on the contract, but we'd also be putting on another person. A child. What you answered did not answer my question.

manyqs2day · Mar 9, 2008, 06:16 PM

Go with your gut. Just discuss it with the new in-laws in a comfortable setting. IT sounds as though you have a good enough relationship with htem to be able to do that. That are odler and wiser and can advise you well I am sure. Just ask them to please keep an open mind.

N0help4u · Mar 10, 2008, 05:51 PM

It does not matter if your name is on the lease or not income based apartments want to base the income of ALL people living in the apartment. So no matter if you move in immediately, months later or after you get married you have to claim your income.
Everything else you asked I can only say go with what is comfortable to you.
Personally if I was use to being with the guy I plan to marry I wouldn't want a separation.
you can always 'make it up' to his parents later. Plus like you said it would give them their space, privacy and not having you rely on them doing for you even more.



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