Well, my sister was always told that she could never have children (since she was 12). She got pregnant at the age of 32 with a baby boy. She's been on drugs steady since she was about 13. After our mom died she seemed to get a lot worse. She started stealing and lying and cheating to get her fix. Well, after having the baby her husband left her (paternity test says it wasn't his...they were married for 12 years). I hadn't been in contact with her since I moved to Indiana (from KY).

See, she had made my life miserable since i was a little girl. Her drugs and shenanigans had torn our family apart emotionally for too long. After our mom died, my dad got remarried about 2 years later and moved us to IN. I was glad because i never had to see her or talk to her again. I never had to put up with her breaking into the house and stealing things. I didn't have to put up with her loud partying (she lived next door) anymore. I told her i was not going to speak to her again until she cleaned her life up and learned how to be an adult.

Well, during this 3 year period is when she got pregnant. She failed horribly as a parent. She was on drugs teh whole time, had wild parties, would leave the baby unattended for an entire night while she was passed out from all the drugs (this is what i was told as i was not there to see it. but i have no reason NOT to beleive it.) anyways, she got the baby taken away from her. Shortly after, she was found dead, overdosed on Hydrocodone and Morophine. I have never seen the baby. I have tried to find out where he was placed but no one will tell me.

I guess my question is, am I a bad person for seperating myself from her so i could finally have some hope of a normal life? Should I have called and seen how she and the baby were doing? Does anyone think that had I called her she wouldn't have killed herself knowing that someone cared about her?

I just feel like had i let her in my life it would have saved her. There is plenty more to the story, but it's really too much to type.

N0help4u

Don't beat yourself up!
Your sister made her decisions. You did the tough love thing and stuck to your guns.
You had to do what you needed to to keep your sanity.
I doubt you could have made much if any of a difference.
When people are that bad off in drugs nothing anybody does will change them or anything that happens to them.
I don't know how you might be able to locate her son but Montel and others have reunited families. There are suppose to be sites that you can register for reuniting with adopted kids but he probably wouldn't know or think to do that. There must be some way some how to locate him. I wouldn't give up too easily.

peggyhill

I'm so sorry! First of all, NO this is not your fault and there was nothing you could have done in this situation. You told your sister that although you loved her, you weren't going to talk to her until she cleaned up her life. That is tough love, like NOhelp4u was saying. You did what you had to do both for your own wellbeing mentally and emotionally, as well as to let your sister know that you had 0 tolerance for her using drugs. There is nothing wrong in that. She was an addict, whose addictions sadly killed her. That is NOT your fault!

Often, when someone dies, we feel there must have been something we could have done to prevent it. We feel like if only I had called, if only I had gone over there that day, if only, if only. I can tell you from personal experience not to play the "if only" game. It only leads to more heartache for you. If you had called her, she still would have had a drug addiction. You weren't responsible. It was her life and her choices.

I am so sorry you are going through this. One thing that might help would be counseling or a grief support group. I went to a grief support group after one of my best friends committed suicide and it helped me so much! I am so sorry and am here if you need to talk!