That what bothers u the most on the people u interact with, is infact your own "fault".

How far do u agree or disagree with the statment?

RickJ

Depends. It's ok to be "bothered" by a liar, cheater, etc... but I think I see what you might mean. The best we can do is treat others as we would like to be treated. In many cases we cannot help but be "bothered" about someone's quirks, attitude, etc...but if we can "hide" it from them...that is, treat them with respect, dignity and kindness, then we've done what we can.

...just my opinion as an armchair philosopher

valinors_sorrow

The truth of this is very much determined by how "self-actualized" you are. As the journey of self awareness enlarges, its possible to escape being "pinged" by others behaviors. Some of the first to go is being disturbed by behaviors that match your own, which you probably grew up with and incorporated subconsciously into your own. Until you are aware of self, you are very likely to experience this oddity as true -- that which disturbs you in others you do yourself is a big indicator of denial.

If one's self awareness continues to grow, you eventually "see" that they don't just "see" the behavior. That becomes especially clear when you complete the process of identifying it in yourself and changing the behavior.

People who look that "asleep' to you are more understandable. It becomes difficult to be personally bothered by what they do -- being affected by becomes very plain and simple to sidestep, you realise they are mostly suffering themselves from it (just like you used to) and you know you are powerless over it until they follow the same path you did and awaken. You may be intellectually dismayed by someone's behavior now being so much more aware of what affects it creates but since you only share in that somewhat, it doesn't amount to being bothered. You only find yourself wishing there were more awake people to be with -- they are so much easier company.

Allheart

Val,

Right on the money and I just loved how you spelled it out and I do feel for the fully awakened ones, I truly do. I basically consider myself 1/2 awake with lots of room to grow and go.

Val, all you say is so true. But what do you do, when someone is traveling their road of growing in semi-sleepy state, and because of their words or actions, they hurt you. Intellectual things you can swat away, but when their actions hurt your heart, that's something I just struggle with. Currently going through this with one of my "girlfriends" and I can see the "why" behind her actions, but I get so hurt that I just shutdown and try and avoid her, or do an invisible push away., until I am over the hurt. I truthfully usually pray for them, but it's not working, still feel hurt and upset. Oh anyway, I guess what I am saying is, when those who are not fully awake yet, cause hurt, that sometimes is more challenging to deal with.

But I do agree with what you are saying.

Jesushelper76

I do not agree with that statement. It also depends on the situation.

If I feel like I can not trust somebody. Or that people are not sincere. I will do my best to

be respectful at the same time, why would I associate myself with somebody that bothers me.

For example: I am very quiet and people at my work are threatened by that because

want to know personal information about people. The more they know about somebody

the more they use it too their advantage to make them look good. The thing is people

take advantage of other people. Is this my fault for keeping quiet. Is it my fault because

i do not share my life with people I work with? Certain people just like to see other people

fail. That is what bothers me of people I work with. Now what bothers them is that I am

not their best buddy, I do not socialize with them. Most these people are in groups, except

for me. Is this my fault. I look at the person. You can tell a lot by looking at a person,

Thier eyes, their manourisms, their speech.

I guess I am just rambling right now. I just wish there was more people out their that are more sensitive to other

people, that are more caring and loving to other people, but I do not see that.


Joe

Allheart

Joe,

I so understand what you mean by the workplace. I am the same way as you are. I don't let them know if I get the morning paper delivered at my home LOL and for some it seems their goal in life to find out if I do.

To be quite honest, I have met some very very special people at work, who I actually love with all my heart. But it is the workplace that tends to cause me the most heartache. I guess I should be very glad for that .

I do understand what you mean though. Really do.

valinors_sorrow

Truth be told here, this is probably my number one favorite topic here.

With all modesty hopefully still intact, if there was a catagory here called Self Awareness/Authenticity/Actualization-- I would consider being the expert for it since this journey to wholeness I am very familiar with and wish others could be too. It is a joyful series of neverending life-changing experiences that pays off soooooo amazingly well on all kinds of levels -- relationships, professions, health, finances, spiritualty, etc, etc. Its worth having a passion about, I think!

Allheart

Oh yes Val, I do know you know the hurt That makes some sense in their somewhere.

Hey, Val, is it possible, the Personal Growth category be changed to be Self Awareness?
I think having it categorized Self Awareness, will bring a whole lot more activity and will open it up and result in more variety of discussions, as well as having you as the Expert. Ahhhhh sounds like a plan .

I think this is one category that would not only be incredibly interesting, and create a great deal of interest, but boy sure is needed . Self awareness, is really the bark of the tree and then subjects such as "Relationships", "Marriage", and "People", well I guess they would be the branches???

Think I am nicotine deprived. No, I know I am nicotine deprived.

But I really really like this idea.