I'm Lost For Words.

I have been seeing a married man for nearly three years now. We spend time in my house chatting and yes the other thing too and he takes me out in the day now and then for a meal but not that often. We have fallen out several times but he always comes back to me saying the intimate side is the best he’s ever had, he also started taking me out telling me he did not want to just be coming taking advantage of me which I thought meant his feelings were going a bit deeper now maybe.

We had an argument a few weeks back and he never text or came round for a while, I then text him and he said how much he missed me although it sounded as if he just meant the physical side. I got a bit upset and cried as I had not been feeling well and for the first time the sexual side was difficult for me too. I also was honest telling him he had two lives and that I wanted him to communicate with me more. When he left I had a text saying it did not feel right and that he thought he is upsetting me and messing my mind up and that he feels terribly guilty about using me. I told him I think we should have a break from it for a while and he thought it was a good idea.

Afterward I got angry with myself as I always do and started hurling abusive texts saying that he’s probably seeing someone else, etc. Then he got mad back and told me to give him some space. He is quite a loner sort of man, not arrogant or the sort of man who has lots of women on the go. In fact he’s quite anxious and nervous some of the time, too anxious to be a player. He says I'm hard work. It’s just I get angry as he shows interest in my life one minute and says he wants to take me out and respect me and treat me like a lady, asks about my family and wants to see pictures of them and then the next he seems like he’s desperate for the intimate side only. He will swing from one to the other. He has told me his wife sleeps on the sofa every night but that he does want her but she does not want him. He does not seem to want to try and get her back though and I cannot understand this. He seemed upset when we talked about this and seemed almost embarrassed at nearly getting emotional. He says he just sits indoors alone or doing things he needs to do, does not seem to go out much or have many friends.

Also he went on holiday with his family a few times but says they find it difficult to be together and it was hard and that they all stay out of each other’s way indoors too. I find this strange. What’s going on? I need some advice as I love him and want to try to bring him out emotionally and at least talk to me but it’s terribly hard. He seems like he’s trying to push me away one minute and cannot wait to see me the next. Do you think this sort of man I have described would be seeing someone else apart from me? I need advice as I love him and want to know if he has feelings for me. Thanks.