Husbands Friend & his wife! I need to vent!
This is long. Am I crazy for thinking this way... I think I just need to vent.
My husbands friends wife befriended me by trying to get me involved with quilting. I'm not really into sewing but I kind of liked it and got involved. She's very obsessive about it now. At first, she was just starting and mostly can only talk quilting, quilting, quilting. Nothing about family, the weekend, how was your day? Not much else... the last few years have been like this.
I mentioned to her a few years ago that I was into scrapbooking and that another friend of mine, T, do this hobby. I didn't ask her to become involved in my hobby because I knew she didn't care for "T" and she had come out and told me this. I never told "T" this though... not my place to say anything. She also said she really can't get involved in another hobby... too expensive. So... more later on that (down the page)
Anyway... We bought ATV's and a trailer before we were really good friends with them. But now they went out and bought a trailer, ATV's and want to go camping with us EVERY time we want to go. She complained to me that she wanted a trailer as BIG as ours, that ours was MUCH nicer... blah blah blah. I heard it from her the entire first camping trip with them!
I got a Chevy Tahoe... my ultimate vehicle that I've been waiting to buy myself. They went out and bought a smaller SUV and brought it over to show us... only she CONSTANTLY complained that she wanted a Tahoe... JUST LIKE MINE... but her husband said they were too expensive. But she must have complained at LEAST 10 times during the 1/2 hr visit!
We've gone out for dinner, they've paid. Even if we tell them beforehand we're not going to dinner if you guys pay... they quickly grab the bill and charge it. They tell us that my husband does a lot for them so it's always their treat. My husband doesn't do any more than what a FRIEND would do to help another friend. I feel we are being bought as friends and although having a free meal is nice... every time isn't. I wasn't raised that way. Since then I've turned down their dinner requests... I just make an excuse and my husband does too.
My husband and I started donating blood together a few years ago... but I became anemic and was unable to after a while. SHE INVITED herself to my husbands donation appointment so SHE could start donating blood. And NOW she goes every time, the same time he does! Her husband drops her off and my husband takes her home! She even went to donate blood on her husband's 50th birthday... he ended up going to dinner with his 12 year old son... while SHE went to donate blood! I was fumed at this woman's gaul but I trust my husband and he thinks it's a little strange but, guys, they just don't get it!
My husband and I planned an anniversary get away to Disneyland a couple of years ago. We were going to go for a week. Guess who asked about Disneyland and how we got our discount rates and then said she wanted to go. And guess which time... WHEN WE WERE GOING! And then said her husband didn't want to go but she would take his son... who she CANNOT stand and has made it obvious... even now! I squashed that by telling her it's my husband and I's anniversary and we really want to be alone. But she still kind of pushed it and said "Oh...but we don't all have to hang out together." Yeah, right.
She ended up NOT going. DUH! Don't you get it woman!
There's more to all these little things that she annoys me with but the clencher, and my REAL recent gripe is my husband and I are planning to move to North Dakota next year. He told our friends that we need to just get out of California... it's so expensive and we have inherited 2 acres w/a nice home in the area where his fathers side of the family all live.
Guess who tells me a week later, "we just need to get out of California."
You guessed it! The friend from H***. I told her "Oh...cool...you can move to Idaho and build on your property. You have a great place to move!" They have property in Idaho and plan to build a home. She said, "well...we just want to go sometime next year." I sarcastically told her, "Where to? North Dakota?" She said "Why not?!" In all her perkiness. I was livid (inside). I told her why in the heck North Dakota... your property in Idaho is SO beautiful and the weather isn't as harsh!
I just ended to entire conversation.
NOW. A day or so AFTER that ND conversation, she decides to befriend my friend "T" (the one she didn't care for) and goes balls out into scrapbooking. She spent over $1000.00 in one week purchasing everything scrapbooking. She invited herself to my friend "T"'s scrapbooking room and even bought the more EXPENSIVE die cut machine... one that "T" said SHE wanted to get but couldn't afford it.
When I saw her I told her "I thought you were trying to watch your money?" (because this is what she told me about a month ago... that her husband told her to stop spending money on quilting stuff... that they need to focus on their remodel of their current home... which is costing them a lot of money). Anyway, her seemingly quick sounding robotic response was "well...you can't take it with you."
"T" called me and told me she is driving her crazy! If she doesn't bring her scrapbooking stuff to "T's", she brings her sewing machine, iron, ironing board, fabric, etc. to "T's" house to do THAT! And then doesn't even talk to her really... just starts getting into her sewing or sitting down messing with her new die cut machine (which she wanted to show off to me and I told her I was actually busy that day... but told her nicely to have fun with it).
I told "T" looks like she made a new friend. She didn't find that amusing and sympathized with me now knowing what a strange bird this woman is.
I'm distancing myself from the woman now and politely turning down her every effort to get me to do stuff with her. She hasn't bugged me for a week now and I'm actually happy. I felt bad at first but looking back at all this stuff I've gone through with this obsessive, copy cat friend... I really don't miss her.
We don't have much in common and I need a life WITHOUT them following us to ND! It will only be the same there and I can't take it!
My husband agrees... he doesn't want anyone following us there either. We may not even stay so why uproot and go. He hasn't discussed ND with his friend anymore. His friend and him are still good friends. I don't want to come between them and I actually like his friend. It's his WIFE I can't take any longer! My aunt told me I'm not obligated to be her friend by default just because my husband and her husband are friends.
And I want to do stuff with my friend "T" but we now feel uncomfortable with this woman having pushed herself in between. "T" and I have other mutual friends that we don't mind going out and doing stuff with but this other woman just squashes our fun because she also seems like she WANTS to one up on people.
I know that I should be flattered when someone wants to have the same things as you... but there's a limit! Maybe she's insecure or unhappy somewhere along the line.
This all came to a head with the whole North Dakota thing and I ABSOLUTELY don't want them raining on our parade. This is my husband and myself's adventure and we will FINALLY be together as husband and wife... doing stuff just the two of us... WITHOUT having his friends involved! I don't mind them visiting but don't stay!
I should add that she doesn't have any friends besides me... and now "T" but "T" said she's kind of backed off and hasn't come over for a while. The woman does have a kind of friend from the quilting stuff but not really.
I know I may be wrong in how I feel. I'm not jealous... I'm just annoyed by this woman. She's very pushy and this thing she has about my husband... men in general... is weird. It's not sexual, it's just she has to have that attention.
She even jokingly touched my husband booby... long story... but, in short, we went to dinner a few years back and when we got outside, he said it was cold and she put her hand ON his SHIRT, touched his booby and said "How cold?" Her husband didn't say peep. And when I got in the car with my husband, he said that wasn't the first time she's done that. THAT was at the beginning of our friendship... and now all this other stuff that I've mentioned before has happened!
She works with only men (as a supervisor) so my husband says she gets along well with them. Like I said, men just don't get it from a female point of view but then why should they? They're not. I just think she steps over the line.
I can't sit down with her and talk to her woman to woman either... tell her what's eating at me. My aunt says to do what I'm doing and turn down invitations to stuff, maybe not take her calls, etc. Which she hasn't called... it's all email and I've politely said no to everything and sometimes give her a nice excuse. I think she's gotten the message but it just takes a while... because she IS pushy and just doesn't take a hint.
I wasn't raised to be mean to people but I've NEVER experienced someone quite like this person.
If you've gotten this far, thank you for letting me vent completely.