How should we answer her invite?

I don't know what we can say in response to your question. All family dynamics are different, although as you say, she is manipulative, so what is her ulterior motive for asking you after not having any contact with you?

Does she need money?

I would right out and ask her what is going on and why she wants you to attend. Be upfront and hope she will be with you too.

Tick

I agree that only you know everything about your relationship with your daughter. Sometimes kids get involved in their own lives and leave us behind -- and it is important that they learn to lead their own lives. I always hope, of course, that we are still part of that life. So, I guess I would acknowledge the invitation and go. But you have the issues of manipulation to deal with. I can only say that I have a sister-in-law like this and it doesn't keep me from seeing my brother. Good luck and I hope everything turns out for the best.

Do you want to go and visit her? If so, then answer that you would be delighted to accept since it has been such a long time since she has spoken to you and that you have so much to catch up on. Take pictures of her sister's wedding to share.

If you don't really want to go, then answer that you are surprised to hear from her, since she hasn't spoken to you since last Christmas. Tell her that you are terribly sorry but you won't be able to accept her invitation at this time. You do hope she will remain in contact from now on however since you have missed talking with her.

Have you tried contacting her in those 9 months? Do you know if she was going through any sort of difficult time? What were things like before that time?

Did she invite her sisters, as well, or just you? That may be something to know. Talk to them and get some facts. Then decide.