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How to handle neighbors children harassing your child

Asked Nov 3, 2010, 09:36 PM — 3 Answers
Hi all,
I have had this neighbor situation for about 7 years now. We were all friends including the children as well, one day it ends, they have one older child whom accused my son of so many things we lost count. Things have been witnessed by others and still we are the bad ones. Now the middle child is talking through the neighborhood to the other kids so that my children have no friends. And there has been talk about us adults too. We understand our kids are not perfect but whose really are anyway, but at some point the parents must hold their children liable for their actions. It's a situation where their children are never wrong and when something happens it's our families fault. We don't care about them why do they care so much for disrupting our lives? Time to grow up I say and moved on. We have why can't they. Please help I have 2 very hurt daughters who are under 10, I hate to see the. So upset. Talking with them is not an option, where do we go from here? Thannks so very much.

3 Answers
dontknownuthin's Avatar
dontknownuthin Posts: 2,339, Reputation: 2979
Ultra Member
 
#2

Nov 5, 2010, 09:01 AM
All you can do is accept that the neighborhood will not be your daughters' source for friends and give them a different one - either a different neighborhood, or a different source outside of the neighborhood for friends. Girlscouts is an outstanding resource. Dance classes, gymnastic or cheerleading lessons, soccer or softball or basketball, after-school programs at your local YMCA (they offer scholarships if you can't afford it) and other programs can all fill your daughters' time with fun and positive people and lessons and experiences, and give them access to a better pool of potential friends.

Also make sure your kids aren't missing a teachable moment here - talk to them about how everyone has acted, and what were good things and what were bad things. I used to do this with my son when spats came up between neighborhood kids and we'd make it very simply by talking about whether various words and actions made friends, or made enemies.

Taking arguments apart and considering why people said certain things, or how it impacted the other person, I have found to be very helpful in teaching my child to get along.
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Harley2007's Avatar
Harley2007 Posts: 2, Reputation: 10
Junior Member
 
#3

Nov 5, 2010, 11:36 AM
Comment on dontknownuthin's post
Quote:
Originally Posted by dontknownuthin View Post
All you can do is accept that the neighborhood will not be your daughters' source for friends and give them a different one - either a different neighborhood, or a different source outside of the neighborhood for friends. Girlscouts is an outstanding resource. Dance classes, gymnastic or cheerleading lessons, soccer or softball or basketball, after-school programs at your local YMCA (they offer scholarships if you can't afford it) and other programs can all fill your daughters' time with fun and positive people and lessons and experiences, and give them access to a better pool of potential friends.

Also make sure your kids aren't missing a teachable moment here - talk to them about how everyone has acted, and what were good things and what were bad things. I used to do this with my son when spats came up between neighborhood kids and we'd make it very simply by talking about whether various words and actions made friends, or made enemies.

Taking arguments apart and considering why people said certain things, or how it impacted the other person, I have found to be very helpful in teaching my child to get along.
I thank you for your input, they are in girl scouts now etc. Tha school grounds is the tough part, but they are handling it pretty good so far.
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justcurious55's Avatar
justcurious55 Posts: 4,361, Reputation: 4033
Ultra Member
 
#4

Nov 5, 2010, 11:44 AM
Like dontknownuthin said, make sure you're not missing a teaching moment here. Make sure you're doing what you can to help them build their self esteem and to teach them to always stand by each other. And remind them it will pass. It might be tough on the playground now, but eventually they'll make other, better friends.
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