How can I leave my partner? I have no money and 2babies?

Be safe and let us know how you are!

Yes, kitkat22, he has always been like it, I've even been told by his own dad that he has really bad paranoir and even he told me to get out of the relationship before he drags me down with him. But surprise-surprise I didn't listen to him......Ijus kept thinking that if I stay with him and prove that I don't cheat on people then his paranoir would stop, but it has just seems to have gotten worse. I think its his paranoir that makes him angry in himself and that's why he lashes out, not at me though because he's knows that he will get it back off me ten-fold, but at our daughter and that's why I do know now that we desparately need to get out of here ASAP.
I jus wish I could get some propa help because the social worker is making me stay here another week because she can't be bothered to do her job properly!

I will keep intouch on here though, its good for me to have someone to talk to from totally outside this horrible situation!

Thanx. Xxx

You know paranoia is not the only thing that's wrong. He is viloent toward a seventeen month old child. Have either one of you been married before? The reason I ask is , was he violent towards his girlfriend or ex wife if he's been in other relationships?

Please get help and don't let him EVER slap your children again! Keep us posted....

Something to consider - sometimes people stay in a bad situation because they are afraid of the unknown. And sometimes they are afraid to take difficult steps because they haven't given thought to where those steps will eventually take them.

Instead of thinking how uncomfortable it might be to have two children in a shelter, consider these things:
- They can provide you safety and a comfortable place to eat and sleep and get all your basic needs met for right now.
- It will be viewed as a positive step for helping protective services recognize that you are taking care of your kids, and get them off your back.
- They can help you to separate for good from a bad relationship and learn to open yourself up to only good men who will be good to you and your children - they can help you figure out why you are drawn to a destructive man.
- They can help you connect with job training and work and free child care so that you can be totally independent of your family and men.
- They can help you file for child support from the children's father and have it direct deposited in your bank account so you never have to talk to him to get it.
- They can help you find affordable housing and connect with short term government money if you need it to take care of yourself until you are ready to meet your own financial needs.
- They can help you obtain a subsidized cell phone (one of Obamas programs) so that you have a free means of communication and a new phone number that your ex cannot get.

The shelter isn't a destination - it's more like the plane that will take you to the destination. If I were you, I'd get on the plane and take it one step at a time.

You might want to think about just how lucky you are that you have options.

Consider this.

Only 50 years ago, a mother of three, in a relationship with a physically abusive husband who was also a gambler, had nowhere to go. Calling the police never resulted in any charges of domestic violence, church officials told you to put up and shut up.

There was no government assistance programs whatsoever. No medical, dental, subsidies, retraining, emergency shelters, free legal aid. There were no self-esteem workshops, no group therapy, no subsidies to gain a better education. You truly had to 'qualify' as poor to get second hand clothing from (usually) church sponsored stores.

Local town welfare was doled out, but you practically had to beg for it, and each time you received a cheque you had to prove that you needed it. And it barely covered food.

Child support and spousal support was not enforceable. You could take a deadbeat dad to court (if you could afford it) 100 times, and still not see a penny.

It was jam sandwiches for lunch for the kids, and macaroni mixed with ketchup for dinner, washed down with mixed powdered milk.

There was no money for camp, summer vacations, dance lessons, or a dinner out.

Gender ruled the day back then for any good job, or trade. Retail and secretarial work paid very poorly. If you worked part time under the table to support your welfare cheque, you ran when you saw the Welfare Officer coming toward the shoe store you worked in. If you moved a boyfriend in (which was not acceptable by any stretch at that time), you were immediately investigated. In your home, unnanouced, by authorities looking for proof that a man was there. If he was, you were expected to live off him.

You could not get credit, or qualify for a loan. There were no grants to assist you if there was a school for you to take courses in. Your children had to fight for loans/grants to attend college because 'technically' their father made too much money and you didn't qualify. Even though, he left and had no contact for the past 15 years.

You were considered to be a leech, a blight on your community, and taxpayers were scornful of their dollars going to put food on your plate.

I could go on, but I think you get the picture.

If all you do is have to make a decision to leave, there are more resources available to you than was even fathomable only a generation ago.

Pack your stuff, consider yourself lucky you have so much available to you, and get out.

Please take this advice! I have thought about that little girl a lot! He could have hurt her badly....

Can you please tell me how you managed to move where did you get help from I am in the same position and want out but also don't want to go to a refuge or shelter

You posted in an old thread.
It is best to start your own thread by Putting your question in the box marked "ask your question or search".

This will allow many more people to see it.