Hi all. Please reply with your thoughts on this subject.
We are having a debate with a friend {male} he says that love is a choice that you can pick who to love or not to love. He thinks love just dont happen that its a choice.
I said what about if you have a child that goes against every thing you have taught him and all of your beliefs, you cant just stop loving your own child. he said that is different.
But he also thinks that you can make yourself stop loving someone, he said its a mind set.
Hmmmmmmmm What do you all think?

bushg

Yes I think it is a choice. If you stop nurturing the feeling it will cease to be. If it matters I am a female.

Stringer

You're right chiphkali, it is a good question and very interesting.

I don't really know where I stand on this and I have to give it further thought.

However, some points to ponder;

A. Does "love" for children and family possibly have a connection to "primary preservation?"
(Preservation of the species)

B. If the "A" above has any credence then is love for another something different? And possibly a choice?

C. "What really is love" has been a question for definition throughout the ages.

I'm not sure; I know when I am in love, as with my wife, but could it possibly be by choice, familiarity, emotional security, attractiveness, mutual affection, intelligence, kindness, etc?

Bear with me on some of the items in the above paragraph; just exploring.

Stringer (What happened to Da Bears?)

cal823

the only choice in love is whether you express it or not, and what you do about it, and whether you let it affect you alot.

Marily

I believe that you never know when you begin to love someone genuinely, the other night my husband asked when did i started loving hin and i could'nt answer him, i think love is a beautifull process and not a mindset

nicespringgirl

Depends on the person, everyone's brain functions differently.
Some of them are more practical, realistic, rational, computerlized,lol. More of a "BRAIN" person. For them love is a choice. I am a "brain" person, I think that love is a choice.
Some of them are more emotional, following their hearts instead of their mind. More of a "HEART" person.

cerisa

That is an interesting question. I do believe that love is a choice, tempered with environment, reciprocity, morality,and other factors. You can fall out of love with parents, children and spouses. As you can nurture those relationships also.

Marily

Nicespringgirl we change our minds so often, isnt it better to foliow our hearts than our minds?

bushg

Marily disagrees: True love is more than just a feeling #1. Do not tell me what love is. Who are you to disagree with me on the way I choose to feel about love. 2# This was an opinion based question the op asked for opinons and that is what I gave her.

nicespringgirl

Life is never easy, you gotta think, consult, research before you make decisions.
What exactly did you mean by following your heart?
Some ppl have been following their heart all through their life, and turned out it works for them.
Ppl pick the way that makes sense to THEMSELVES.