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Just looking for a little bit of input on this situation, not sure how to go about resolving this;
Me and my girlfriend live together, and have a very happy stress-free life, we have enough money to get by and have nights out and treats, generally life is great.
However a couple of my girlfriend's family members are a little mental, specifically her older sister, who has a small child, little money, a job she dislikes and a failed marriage.
Whenever she calls she never fails to upset or stress out my girlfriend, many times she's been in tears because of stuff her sister has said, like when my lass was stressing over a big university essay she said
"What's the point in going to uni, you won't get anything out of it!"
Things came to a head last weekend when she came to visit.
Firstly she decided to swap the day she was visiting at the last minute, totally wrecking our plans for the weekend.
When she turned up she made hurtful comments about my girlfriend's weight, the cleanliness of our flat and the way we live.
Her child fell over and hurt herself and she went off the handle, blaming my girlfriend because they were supposedly very tired from the journey. In short, my girlfriend was in tears again and I was very, very annoyed.
She basically ruined our Easter weekend and left us both feeling drained and stressed!
So ... anyway, I don't EVER want her in our home again, and I've told my girlfriend this, but I fear she may buckle under pressure.
Would it be wrong for me to tell her sister straight out that I don't like her attitude and don't want her in our flat again?
I would really limit myself to see her, especially due to all the stress she is causing upon your girlfriend.
You mentioned your girlfriend is at uni, well, she doesnt need extra stress especially from a family member such as her sister!
You could put it in a way - dont attack her sister, but through a guilt trip maybe! She how she reacts.. Its a tricky one!
The worst thing of it is my girlfriend keeps apologising for her sister's behaviour! I can't seem to make her understand it's not her fault that her sister is a nut-job!
The thing is, I don't want to just avoid her, or pretend to be busy whenever she wants to visit, I really want her to understand how much stress she puts us through, and unless she changes she's not welcome in my home!
Then speak to her (the sister)
or maybe you and your girlfriend should her down together and have a good word and put some sense through that thick head of hers.
Maybe if you both sit down with her and tell her how you feel it would help. It sounds like she is jealous that your girlfriend is making something of her life, and she wants her to be as miserable as she is. She is in a happy relationship, she does not have a child attached to her hip, she is getting an education. I have a friend that always tries to call me and make me miserable, like her....what I have done is just backed off on the conversations and kept my distance. Now we are not as close as we used to be, but I still have her in my life. When we do talk it isn't so gloomy because I do not give her the time ramble on.
Ok firstly the thing your "Lass" must keep in her mind is that her older sister is purely jealous of her success. The spiteful little comments re uni , weight, your home is pure green eyed monster.
With this in mind i would say that it would be kinder to keep the sister on a long lead ie visits a few and far between and short and sweet.
You do not need to rub "salt in the wound" by talking to her she is already unhappy with "her lot" and this may create bad feeling with other family members.
Take everything she says with a "bucket of salt" remembering that she is a "green eyed monster"
i would try not to see her as much as possible but she is your girlfriends family so you are kinda stuck with her you cannot expect your girlfriend to to see her. but your girlfriend should maybe try to spend less time with her if she makes her feel like that or maybe she should try talking to her.
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