Ask Experts Questions for FREE Help!
  Advanced
Register  |  Log in  
   Ask    
 Answer  
  Help  

Ask QuestionsprogressAnswer QuestionsprogressBuild ReputationprogressBecome an Expert
 
Free Answers in 3 Easy Steps

Register Now
3 Steps

At Ask Me Help Desk you can ask questions in any topic and have them answered for free by our experts. To ask questions or participate in answering them you must register for a free account. By registering you will be able to:
  • Get free answers from experts in any of our 300+ topics.
  • Accept money for answers that you provide.
  • Communicate privately with other members (PM).
  • See fewer ads.

Home > Family & People > Other Family & People   »   Frustrating relationship with my mother

 
Question Tools Search this Question Display Modes
Question
 
 
#1  
Old Apr 22, 2007, 06:07 PM
chris_in_orbit
New Member
chris_in_orbit is offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 17
chris_in_orbit See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Frustrating relationship with my mother

Many adults expect respect from children but then my mother tells me that she doesnt have to respect me because im a child. Is it me or is this logic flawed? Don't I as a person deserve respect? And from no one else at LEAST from the only mother i have?

My mother is constantly telling me what i don't do right and yells/curses at me for the drop of the hat. If i were to raise my voice at her or curse then she would discipline me and that is rediculous! Parents are supposed to be setting examples for their children to follow, not doing what they want to do then turning around and telling me what i have to do. It becomes frustrating because i feel like i'm a prisoner in my own home and my opinion is not valued nor respected.

If my mom can't even set an example for me and respect me as a person why should i do those things for her? I have constantly brought this up with my mother but she always ends up yelling at me, and in some cases hitting me. Am i wrong to think that i don't deserve i mother like this?

Reply With Quote
 
     

Answers
 
 
Old Apr 23, 2007, 01:48 PM   #2  
phillysteakandcheese
Senior Member
phillysteakandcheese is offline
 
phillysteakandcheese's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2006
Posts: 874
phillysteakandcheese See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.phillysteakandcheese See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.phillysteakandcheese See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
Generally speaking - Yes, everyone deserves to be treated with respect. However - Respect is a two way street. You have to behave in a respectful manner before you can truely demand others treat you with respect.

If you behave like a screaming 7 year old, I'll treat you like one - no matter how old you are!

I think most young people believe they "already know what's best" for themselves - that's often a delusion based on no real world expereince and alot of self-centered behavior. As you get older, you realize the pitfals your parents were trying to help you avoid, even if they didn't have the best approach.

Sometimes parents can't let go, or view their children as independent adults. We all know a 30-something guy that is still under his mother's thumb...

Being hit is another matter though. That can be physical abuse...

My suggestion is to objectively look at yourself and your relationship with your mother and determine what you can do to make it better. That might mean changing your attitude, or it might mean removing yourself from an abusive situation.

Comments on this post
vlee agrees: the 30 something year old guy....ohhhh, SO TRUE! LOL
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 26, 2007, 12:39 PM   #3  
chris_in_orbit
New Member
chris_in_orbit is offline
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Posts: 17
chris_in_orbit See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
I don't think the problem is me thinking I know everything. I think its the other way around actually. Not every child is the same so to say that we all need the same things is a little ignorant. I just want my opinions to be considered so that we can compromise. If a parent isn't even willing to do that and justifies it because she's an adult then things become frustrating. As a junior in highschool, who is soon to leave the house, things shouldn't be this way.. subjectively i honestly believe in any situation the childs opinion should be heard out instead of tossed aside as unimportant.
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 26, 2007, 12:54 PM   #4  
whiteladybug2002
Full Member
whiteladybug2002 is offline
 
whiteladybug2002's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: USA
Posts: 235
whiteladybug2002 See this member's comment history on his/her Profile page.
I absolutely see your point of view and you write very well for you age!!! Two thumbs up for you!!

I don't think that you are giving credit where it is due though.......probably your mom! She has probably created and molded you into the wonderful person you are today. She may not always listen to you, but she loves you. She may not "respect" you, but she makes you study. She may not compromise, but she makes sure you are fed. As a mom, our job is not to appease our children and be their friend, it is to make you be the best you can be...........To be better than us!

Even though it may not seem like it now, your mom has your best interest in mind!! At 16 - 17 yrs old, we all make irrational decisions that make perfectly good sense at the time, but later we really see how ignorant we were............I include myself!! You may not, but your mom is there to make sure.

She loves you and even if you feel she isn't listening, she is! It is a mom little secret! She is probably listening more than you know!
  Reply With Quote
 
     
 
 
Old Apr 26, 2007, 12:58 PM   #5  
Fr_Chuck
Christianity Expert
Fr_Chuck is offline
 
Fr_Chuck's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Atlanta GA
Posts: 23,619
Fr_Chuck has disabled reputation
So the things she is telling you , that you are doing wrong, you aren't doing those things then right??? But no, kids are to listen to there parents and respect thier parents, kids are kids and honestly god could not have helped one of my boys if they tried to lecture me on how to speak to them.

The fact you are still allowed to use a computer means she was not as strict on you as alot of parents out there.
  Reply With Quote
 
     


Question Tools Search this Question
Search this Question:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

 
Similar Sponsors

Similar Questions
Question Asker Topic Answers Last Post
My mother acts like a bill collector more than a mother Dora Relationships 8 Jan 29, 2008 08:41 PM
A frustrating insurance situation. blawar Insurance 5 Apr 20, 2007 06:11 PM
Men are frustrating robertsqueen Marriage 10 Mar 23, 2007 03:43 PM
frustrating secret kaz_89 Relationships 75 Feb 19, 2007 01:31 PM
ex g/f frustrating. snuffy Relationships 5 Jul 25, 2005 10:47 AM




Copyright ©2003 - 2007, Ask Me Help Desk.
All times are GMT -8. The time now is 01:42 AM.

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.0.0 RC6 © 2006, Crawlability, Inc.