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My family has left me because I have no job

Asked Jul 16, 2012, 12:23 PM — 14 Answers
My life is pretty **** right now my brother and sister have left me as I have no job and find it extremely hard to get one.
My mum still talks to me and meets up which cheers me up but she never seems to understand how hard it is.
I handed out over 15 CV’s in one day and heard nothing back at all.
I do what I can to job search but I have no girlfriend, barely any family and friends and no job which has left me severely depressed and lonely which I never admit to.
I have a nice flat all decorated and have worked plenty of jobs before but now I am stuck and alone.
What can I do why am I in this state I feel like a failure.

14 Answers
JudyKayTee's Avatar
JudyKayTee Posts: 45,424, Reputation: 23558
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#2

Jul 16, 2012, 01:51 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by timothy101101 View Post
my life is pretty **** right now my brother and sister have left me as i have no job and find it extreamly hard to get one.
my mum still talks to me and meets up wich cheers me up but she never seems to understand how hard it is.
i handed out over 15 cv's in one day and heard nothing back at all.
i do what i can to job search but i have no girlfriend, barely any family and friends and no job wich has left me sevearly deppressed and lonley wich i never admit to.
i have a nice flat all decorated and have worked plenty of jobs before but now i am stuck and alone.
what can i do why am i in this state i feel like a failyer.

Probably a good start would be to follow your own advice - http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/death-d...lf-639320.html

Talk to a counselor, a clergyperson, an advisor, a friend, a family member, someone who will LISTEN and not judge.
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timothy101101's Avatar
timothy101101 Posts: 12, Reputation: 0
New Member
 
#3

Jul 17, 2012, 01:09 PM
My mum never compliments me.
So I am 22 years old and have depression but I ask my mum today why she does not compliment me and all she can say is "that stuff is for when you were young you’re too old for that now".

Now I kind of get what she is on about but I still strongly feel my mum should compliment and congratulate me now and then especially as she knows I have depression.
Why is this is it me, or is it her?
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teacherjenn4's Avatar
teacherjenn4 Posts: 2,748, Reputation: 1198
Education Expert
 
#4

Jul 17, 2012, 02:28 PM
Do you compliment her? What types of things do you do that you think you deserve compliments for?
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timothy101101's Avatar
timothy101101 Posts: 12, Reputation: 0
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#5

Jul 17, 2012, 04:59 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by teacherjenn4 View Post
Do you compliment her? What types of things do you do that you think you deserve compliments for?
yea i compliment her it would just be nice to hear somthing like "you smell nice today" or "you can do anything you set your mind to".
just general compliments and suport.
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,368, Reputation: 24153
Jobs & Parenting Expert
 
#6

Jul 17, 2012, 05:03 PM


General compliments are not good. Specific compliments are good -- "This beef stew is really good, Mom!" and "I hope I can be a good driver someday like you are" and "That color of blouse makes your eyes sparkle."

What do you compliment her on?

You've been diagnosed for depression? What meds are you taking and how often every week do you see a therapist?
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timothy101101's Avatar
timothy101101 Posts: 12, Reputation: 0
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#7

Jul 17, 2012, 05:10 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
General compliments are not good. Specific compliments are good -- "This beef stew is really good, Mom!" and "I hope I can be a good driver someday like you are" and "That color of blouse makes your eyes sparkle."

What do you compliment her on?
when she gets her hair done "have you had your hair cut it looks nice".
when i eat over her's "mmmm nice dinner mum best iv had in weeks".
when she has a nice top on "i like that top".
you no everyday sort of things we have a great relationship and always have but its just the compliment and suport side of things.
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,368, Reputation: 24153
Jobs & Parenting Expert
 
#8

Jul 17, 2012, 05:16 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by timothy101101 View Post
when she gets her hair done "have you had your hair cut it looks nice".
when i eat over her's "mmmm nice dinner mum best iv had in weeks".
when she has a nice top on "i like that top".
you no everyday sort of things we have a great relationship and always have but its just the compliment and suport side of things.
"have you had your hair cut it looks nice" BETTER: "I like the way your hair curves around your cheeks." Nice is too general.
"mmmm nice dinner mum best iv had in weeks" BETTER: "The beef is fork tender. How did you do that?" Nice is too general.
"i like that top" BETTER: "That top makes you look like you are 20 years old."

So how do you think you can get her to give you specific compliments? Maybe lead the way and give them to her?
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talaniman's Avatar
talaniman Posts: 44,351, Reputation: 50366
Senior Family & People Expert
 
#9

Jul 17, 2012, 05:42 PM


Maybe a doctor to guide you thru the process of dealing with your depression properly would be the best way to start addressing your problems at this time.
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Alty's Avatar
Alty Posts: 22,635, Reputation: 26655
Pets Expert
 
#10

Jul 17, 2012, 06:01 PM
I'd like a response to WG's question. Are you on meds for your depression and are you seeing a therapist?
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