My step mother has always been not so great to me, blew up over stupid things, spoiled her kids (half sisters 10 years younger) , when me and my full brother got stuck with all the chores, even cleaning her room and my sisters rooms, ect. But then when i moved out we started to bond a little bit, her telling me she thinks she should have done things differently, and that she has emotional problems , had been on antidepressants ect..... so i think we are doing good and am happy we are no longer fighting. Up until last christmas that is, she lost it and yelled at me telling her i ruined her christmas blah blah blah a whole lot of confusing, my dad got upset telling her that she cant treat his daughter like that and doesnt even know why she is mad. No one i ask even know why she got angry but it came from nowhere, the night before we went shopping and had a great time together. Any way she hasnt talked to me since, and wont i have tried many many times to talk to her, and ive been nothing but nice to her, even sending her a mothers day card and a birthday present. The only thing she told my dad was that she "didn't like my lifestyle" which make no sense, i dont do drugs or even drink, i have a great job, and an amazing boyfriend that everyone in the family loves. It is causing a rift in my family she is singleing me out and making it increasingly difficult to see my father and my sisters, family holidays or outings get canceled because she refuses to be somewhere i am. This causes constant problems with my dad and step mom as well, since my dad has sided with me on the issue. She is making me feel terrible for something i didn't do, and she wont even talk to me about. I dont know what i should do about it, or what more i could do about it. I think she needs help, something is wrong with her chemical balance. or she really hates me and her true side is finally showing its ugly self.

going crazy

nauticalstar420

Man, this one is a tuffie. To me it sounds like she might have something wrong with her. People dont just explode on other people for absolutely no reason. I mean if you didnt do anything wrong she shouldnt have any reason to hate you or be mad at you. You should talk to your dad about maybe getting her into some therapy or something

derek1972

Your step mom sounds alot like my sister, I know my sister doesnt hate me but she is very controlling. She has always interfered with my relationships and she has tactically tried to ruin my marriage and relationship with my kids. I truly believe it is a chemical imbalance or some type of mental problem.cut her loose I did and am much happier

xCrookedWingsx

I think you are doing everything right :3 I just hope that you talk to your father and this and how you feel. try to get ur step mom into a type of threapy, it isn't you it is her and i dont think it is because she hates i think its because something is wrong with her.

Homegirl 50

Sounds like she has some mental problems and there is nothing you can do about that. I say it is up to your dad to not let his relationship with you falter. She is his wife , his responsibility. It may be a pain, but maybe you guys can get together without her.
I would imagine this may be harder on your dad especially if he does not know what to do. So just keep in contact with him and not deal with her.

maykitty11

basically the same thing hsa happened to me...only i havent moved out yet as im only in grade 12....she just yelled at me while i was eating breakfast "Can you go downstairs so can have some privacy in my own home?" but not not nicely at all......i dont understand y she treats me like this........i can relate to what ur are saying....and tips on how to deal with it?

Greg Quinn

You are one of many! Wait for the motherinlaw. Really, just wait for the mother in law, she will eat your step mom for lunch. Maybe I can help a little with your scenario because I have found a special word and have been using it in my arguments in witty different ways, it's called a... (spoken like= "MAR-TER" "MARTYR" it is a person who shows a great deal of suffering in order to obtain sympathy, sometimes at any cost. My "martyr" has lied back-stabbed set up and denied all in a single half day. These people usually have severe control issues and self esteem issues, they have the ability to make the more honorable yet vulnerable people around them feel depressed, isolated, they can create issues from absolutely nothing and somehow twist it to mold their own odd fabrication of a new and somehow justifiable truth. They will manipulate truths and facts before sharing your problems with their friends and family. It is surely a problem that comes with depression for a lot of people who suffer from being a martyr, like Maykitty11 posted "Quote": ....she just yelled at me while i was eating breakfast "Can you go downstairs so I can have some privacy in my own home?"(End quote) Anyways its all very familiar to me. They are stubborn and make their own sence out of things that don't make sence, they are prone to jealousy in relationships with loved ones. Maybe she feels your dad loves you more? It doesn't matter because in my experience there is just nothing you can do...They still mark you as a target even if they give you a break now and then. And stubborn, oh are they stubborn. If she is using your lifestyle as her excuse to hate you, just imagine what she would do if she ever had any real dirt on you. Stay private, and ask others not to share your info with her. So to end this lovely long note, be glad you don't live with her and that your dad is able to see the view from your side of the situation. And be glad you don't have to eat your breakfast in the basement. LOL

hcourtne

Both of my parents are very much like your step mother. They suffer from severe depression and even though it is obvious to everyone else, they will not admit it. They constantly blow up over the tiniest "problem" and end up screaming at my siblings and I. I try to make visits back home a couple times a year but we end up in a huge fight everytime and my dad kicks me out of the house. Basically what I'm trying to say is that I see a lot of parallels between your situation and mine. I agree with everyone's answers so far: your mom is definately suffering from something (most likely depression) and she is taking it out on you. I definately do not think she hates you deep down especially since she has mentioned that she wishes she had done things differently. You are very lucky to have your dad defending and listening to you. I think the two of you should sit your step mom down, have a long talk, and try to get her into therapy and maybe look into antidepressants. Just don't take things personally! When she yells at you over something insignificant, see it as a result of her problem and don't let it bring you down!!!

hcourtne

I agree with everyone's posts so far. Your mom is definately suffering from something (most likely depression) and is letting it affect her relationship with you. I don't think she hates you, especially since she mentioned she wishes she did things differently. My parents both suffer from severe depression and it has really affected our relationship. Since I was a little kid, they have blown up over the tiniest "problem" and ended up screaming at my siblings and I. Neither of them will admit they have a problem, though, so they have not sought help. The depression led them to saying incredibly mean things to me and even "disowning" me a couple times. I think you and your dad should sit your step mom down, have a long talk, and ask her to seek therapy and/or antidepressants. By the way, thank your dad for being so supportive and standing up for you. Most importantly, though, do not take her bouts personally. She has a problem and is not dealing with it. Next time she gets overly worked up about something do not let it bring you down for even a second. You sound like a great person and I would hate for you to become negative and pessimistic like your step mom and it is easy to do when you are around someone so much. I have had to work HARD not to be negative like my parents.

On a side note, I love Greg Quinn's definition of the word Martyr. My mom is suuuch a martyr!

Greg Quinn

Yes... Alot of moms are . LOL