I need some advice. I have a granddaugher that lives in another state with her mother. My son (the father) is married and lives about 45 minutes from me. He was never married to his daughter's mother, and has never paid child support, but his daugher visits him every christmas and during the summer. My son's wife has 2 children from her first marriage, has joint custody with their father, but he does not pay any child support, so therefore my son supports her and her children (she does not work). My granddaugher gets to come down for the summer every year (she will be 7) and has been here for christmas the last two years. I usually get to see her maybe 4-6 days while she is here, and maybe 2 days by herself because of the other children. Any clothes, toys, etc. that she receives while here has to be left at her daddy's house (stepmom's rule). If she gets winter clothes at christmas, she will send them home the following christmas and by then she has outgrowed them. The same is true for the summer, if she gets new clothes, they stay at her house until the next year, then they are send home (and my granddaugher can't wear them). My daugher-inlaw and son has not stepped foot in my home in a year. and I never get to see her children except when my granddaugher is here. They do not make an effort to celebrate holidays with us, it is always with her family or my son's father and his family.

My one weekend alone last year ended in the huge fight because I took my granddaugher to get her picture made, and she gave her daddy something for father's day.

I am planning to take my granddaughter to walt disney world in may, but my daugher-in-law is very upset because I am not including her 2 children. She and my son are saying I am totally wrong by just carrying one and not the other two. I have ok'd this trip with my granddaugher's mother and feel my son and his wife have not right to dictate to me whether I can take my granddaugher on a trip or not. If my son supported his child, and if his wife would make me feel part of the family, I might would do different. Am I totally offbase and wrong to do something special for my granddaughter?

vlee

Sorry no one has responded, but I think it is the right thing to do. No offense meant here, but your son sounds almost as bad as your dil and her misinformed brood. I hope your son comes around soon and more than anything i pray you get the time with your GD that you deserve. May I ask, why did her mom agree to let her move in with her dad and the wicked stepmother?

Mom of 2

Sorry I have been away for awhile. I was wondering the same thing about your GD's mother. Why is she now living with her dad? I also agree that you need to go to court as well. Good luck to you!!! I hope everything works out well.

diford

Now that I look at the picture, I think her mother has decided to have her freedom. She has 4 other children, from college age to age 15. The youngest daughter, age 17, basically raised my granddaugher, but has moved out, due to a dispute with her mother. The mother has a new boyfriend, and I feel like she is using this time for herself, enjoying no young children at home to be responsible for.

I plan to send the children halloween bags, and also plan to send my son a letter. Hopefully he will read it and decide they have been unfair and have blown this situation out of proportion, but I seriously doubt he will.

I wish he would realize that his wife has completely alienated me and my whole side of the family. I wish he would realize this is not a normal way to treat family members. I thank God everyday my parents taught me values and respect for others and that life is hard sometimes, we don't always get our way.