My first time here! I need advise on how to handle a situation with my daugther-in-law. She and my son have two wonderful boys, 3 and 9 months. She is an amazing mom and wife to my son and I would not change a thing where that was concerned. Our problems began when my first grandson was born. I felt that i was completly shut out. When addressing the sitaution I was told that "her mother raised her and she trusted her mom to help raise her children the same way". I reminded her that she married someone that I had raised and so far I have not heard any complaints. We seemed to have worked things out until the other day.
I met her to pick up the baby while she went to a meeting. On my way home I went by a friends to get something from her and to introduce her to my grandson since she has never met him. I spent no more than 15 minutes there. My daughter-in-law called me the following day and informed me that she did not appreciate that I did that and the "I majorly crossed the line".
I took the blame in not telling her about my decision to go by my friends, which I decided after I left her. She said it would not have made any difference. "I don't want my kids drug all around and I don't care if it was 15 minutes or 15 hours. You crossed the line!"
I went by their home and told her that I did not appreciate the way she talked down to me and that I am an adult and not her 3 year old child. I held my temper because of my grandsons and my son and in the end left feeling as if nothing was resolved.
If I was wrong in this situation okay. But I am not the "babysitter" I am their grandmother. Oh, that is another thing. I am called "Grandma Sue" where her mom is called grandma. I feel as it that is a name reserved for a step-grandparent or neighbor. My husband who died last died was even called "Papa".
Am I being to sensitive?
no I am not the DIL, and I wasnt aware that there were rules to a time frame on posting opions which I thought the message board was for, you dont have to like what I said, and the MIL should have respect for the DIL as well, she is the parent she was asked to babysit which means she should adhere to all rules set in place by the childs mother
I also didnt know you had to be a member of the board for a certain period of time to be able to post opions, why does it bother you what I said?
I am just able to place myself in the DIL postion b/c I know how I would feel if my MIL did something like that is all
no I am not the DIL, and I wasnt aware that there were rules to a time frame on posting opions which I thought the message board was for, you dont have to like what I said, and the MIL should have respect for the DIL as well, she is the parent she was asked to babysit which means she should adhere to all rules set in place by the childs mother
I also didnt know you had to be a member of the board for a certain period of time to be able to post opions, why does it bother you what I said?
I am just able to place myself in the DIL postion b/c I know how I would feel if my MIL did something like that is all
It's not that you posted your opinion, it's the way you posted. You were a bit rude and that wasn't called for.
We all get upset at times, especially if we feel a connection to the post because we've gone through something similar. The fact is, you don't know the OP, she's not YOUR MIL, she's someone elses and you're transposing your anger onto her. That's not helpful, it's hurtful, and we're here to help.
There are rules about posting on old threads. This one isn't that old but the fact that the OP (original poster) hasn't been back means that the opinions posted really aren't being read, therefore it's probably best not to keep the thread going by posting on it. There are other threads that need attention, where the OP is actually coming back to view the response, those threads should come first.
It takes a while to get used to how the site runs. We all make mistakes, it's live and learn. Some of us have been here for a while, we've seen it all and then some, so we don't put up with a lot.
If you haven't read the rules and regulations and other helpful tips on how to use the site, it's a good idea to do so.
I am sorry if it seemd I was being rude, I will find another board to visit from now on thank you for all of your help, but this site isnt for me
Sunn, don't be so quick to leave.
I know it's hard when you get into an argument with someone, trust me, I've been there too many times. I'm German, I get angry easily.
I've been on other sites, I've never found one that comes close to comparing to this one. The people here are great, so give them a chance.
The important thing, I'm sure you have something to offer to people that come to this site with questions. Maybe just skip the ones about MIL's.
Just give it a chance. If you're like me, you'll keep coming back. I wasn't going to either when I first started, then I answered a few questions, got into a few fights, then found my niche and I've been here ever since. I've made friends, people I've never met but friends nonetheless. We've been through a lot together and they're always here when I need them.
Just give it a chance. Okay? Wait for a week, then tell me what you really think.
I guess what I did not see address or missed it, where is your son in all of this ?? Why is your son not having you pick the kids up to keep for a weekend or more.
no..u nvr crossed any line..she is jus findin a reason to keep u away frm her kids so that her mother can take ur place...
and they grow up loving her more than u...
she jus wans a reason to do that..she is jus insecure..
it wasnt ur fault at all...
don blame urself..
and don worry..if not ur family we all r there for u..
we love u grandma!!!
no..u nvr crossed any line..she is jus findin a reason to keep u away frm her kids so that her mother can take ur place...
and they grow up loving her more than u...
she jus wans a reason to do that..she is jus insecure..
it wasnt ur fault at all...
don blame urself..
and don worry..if not ur family we all r there for u..
we love u grandma!!!
Could you please not write in textspeak!
It's against forum rules and you will notice no one else does it. It’s really hard to read and I am sure that you want people to read your posts.
And, I am sure it will be helpful to your future life, employment, schooling etc if you learn to write properly.
Linear Mode
