My best friend and I have always been really close. We're both 22 and have been friends for 20 years. I don't remember my life without her.. She has always been there. We went to the same elementary school, same highschool, and lived only 1 block apart until she moved to a different city last year. We respect each other a lot and appreciate each others time.... I hope... One thing that is really starting to get to me is that She's too stubborn. If we fight, she will never step up to the plate and say it was her fault. And i'm the type of person who always gives in. I've been doing this for way too long. Recently we got in a little fight and I told myself that I shouldn't be the first one to give in because if i do, she'll take advantage of it again the next time. She always waits for me to make an effort. So we fought last month and it's been 20 days now, with no contact. I think about her everyday and it hurts knowing that not once has she bothered to be the bigger one and just apologize for what she did....
(the problem was that she was supposed to hang out with me but then last minute sold me out and went with someone else)... At the time she told me she was gonna go with someone else, I said it was okay and that she could go. But after that she never contacted me again. because she knows i'm mad/sad deep down inside. Everytime she knows i'm mad/sad, she knows i'm not the type of person to say anything and i keep everything bottled up inside and she starts to take advantage of it. I just dont know what to do. Sometimes I think i'm over thinking it and that it might be my fault. But i need to learn how to stick up for myself. I can't be treated like a doormat everything. I hope this makes sense, I'm just full of 20 days worth of anger and needed to vent. Thanks!

tickle

Seems to me the respect you mention between the two of you is only one sided.

SweetDee

It sounds to me (at the end of your post...) you already know what you should do.

I think in this life we teach people how to treat us. I think she's treating you badly because she CAN and because you let her.

You seem very needy of her. Why not keep her as a good friend and find a better one? One that will treat you with respect..? How can you expect people not to walk all over you if you always set up the matt for them? (The only thing you are not doing is giving directions to where the matt can be located!). Don't be a door matt, PLEASE. No more.

Decide that you are an awesome person and an awesome friend...and that you deserve MORE. Let her come to you. If she doesn't then she truly could care less about you, dear.

When/if she does call, make it easy for her to apologize. DO NOT LET HER GIVE YOU HELL FOR NOT BEING THE ONE or try and manipulate her way into being right. Tell her she wasn't being very thoughtful to your friendship and that you expect more from her after all these years.

It's GOOD to have expectations of people. If you didn't then how low and unworthy are you?

You are a loyal and loving friend. You CAN expect the same in return, you really really can. xo