Originally Posted by cheryl40
I don't know how people manage to find something to complain, or nitpick about like your mother does. Especially hard since you probably don't see it coming, and neither do your children. All you can do is react to being blindsided.
Maybe try to come up with a plan with your kids. Sit down with them and explain that when hurtful words or comments are made, she is stirring the pot, and let everyone agree to not respond to her negative remarks. She'll get the picture soon enough. But, if you all keep just hoping that she will change her attitude, it really is setting yourself up for more heartache.
Take control, and this is a good lesson for your kids too, to also take control over how somebody's words can affect them, and how to handle it. It doesn't matter what she said, because none of it is justified, it matters only how they respond to her. Not a bad thing to learn as they head out into this world and will face similar personalities in the workforce, with neighbours, etc. It is a conflict, and they can resolve it, and take charge of their own reactions.
It will take time, but the effort will be worth it. You'll be left with your mother knowing that nobody is going to put up with her nonsense, and she has no power and control over any of you. What will be left is perhaps a more enjoyable time with her.
Let's hope so.