My Dad Doesn't Know How To Let Go

smoothy · Jun 21, 2012, 08:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoftSummer

I recently got into a relationship. I go out of state for school and I'm at home for the summer and my boyfriend is back at school. I wanted to visit him but my dad said no. I feel that my father is out of line because I'm 20 years old, when I was in HS I did a good job of getting my sister places, and on top that I've had to loan my dad money before. Basically, I have proved time and time again that I am a responsible adult who will make responsible decisions. This type of behavior makes me not want to never come back home for the summer or to vista during the school year. How can I possibly lobby to get to go and visit my boyfriend this weekend? I'm 20 years old. I shouldn't have to ask...

When you have your own place and pay your own way...then you get to make the rules...as long as you live in your dads house you have to live with his rules. Its clear you aren't supporting yourself...and until you are you will have to live by his rules.

If you had your own place and had your own money and was supporting yourself you wouldn't be asking this right now.

Whats really going on here is you want to have sex all weekend with your boyfriend....possibly get pregnant.(NO form of birth control is 100% effective)..and your father knows this all too well.

tickle · Jun 21, 2012, 09:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

When you have your own place and pay your own way...then you get to make the rules...as long as you live in your dads house you have to live with his rules. Its clear you aren't supporting yourself...and until you are you will have to live by his rules.

If you had your own place and had your own money and was supporting yourself you wouldn't be asking this right now.

Whats really going on here is you want to have sex all weekend with your boyfriend....possibly get pregnant.(NO form of birth control is 100% effective)..and your father knows this all too well.

I don't think it is fair to assume the OP "wants to have sex all weekend and get pregnant".

Sorry smooth, I just don't agree with this comment.

smoothy · Jun 21, 2012, 09:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

I don't think it is fair to assume the OP "wants to have sex all weekend and get pregnant".

Sorry smooth, I just don't agree with this comment.

Think back to when you were that age.....college and this is SOOOOOoooo very important for them to get this upset about.....it can't be anything else, or boyfriend could come over to dads to visit.. I remember being in that 18-22 year old period like it was yesterday.

I'm pretty sure dad does as well.

tickle · Jun 21, 2012, 10:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smoothy

Think back to when you were that age.....college and this is SOOOOOoooo very important for them to get this upset about.....it can't be anything else, or boyfriend could come over to dads to visit.. I remember being in that 18-22 year old period like it was yesterday.

I'm pretty sure dad does as well.

Haha, no, I was a bookworm and anyway smooth (doing some quick math......) you just didn't do that stuff 50 years ago.

smoothy · Jun 21, 2012, 11:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

Haha, no, I was a bookworm and anyway smooth (doing some quick math......) you just didn't do that stuff 50 years ago.

Well.....30 years ago when I was that age ( right after the time AIDS hit the scene and before they found out what caused it)....we did if and when we could get away with it....and certainly thats exactly whats in HIS mind. And I wasn't the High School jock that had women throwing themselves at him...and I still did every opportunity I got....and anywhere I could.

And with the soring rates of unplanned pregnancies....there is no idication it ever slowed down much less stopped since then.

Wondergirl · Jun 21, 2012, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

Haha, no, I was a bookworm and anyway smooth (doing some quick math......) you just didn't do that stuff 50 years ago.

Even bookworms did that back when rocks were cooling. We were just more clever and creative in how we went about it behind our parents' backs.

slapshot_oi · Jun 21, 2012, 11:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SoftSummer

How can I possibly lobby to get to go and visit my boyfriend this weekend? I'm 20 years old. I shouldn't have to ask...

You are completely valid, but so is your old man by implying "my house, my rules". So, the only logical solution is to move out.

Option B is to rebel until he realizes you're gonna do what you want to, but you don't strike as that type of person. And, moreover, at 20 it's a little late to be starting that game.

tickle · Jun 21, 2012, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wondergirl

Even bookworms did that back when rocks were cooling. We were just more clever and creative in how we went about it behind our parents' backs.

I didnt go behind my parents' backs way back when, I respected their opinion of me too much for that. I am not being a fussbuget. It was a different world then; you came in when the street lights came on and you didnt play with anything other then your friends. It was good clean fun and you did your bookwork, listened to the radio with your dad, and then you went to bed and started all over again the next day.

Wondergirl · Jun 21, 2012, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tickle

I didnt go behind my parents' backs way back when, I respected their opinion of me too much for that. I am not being a fussbuget. It was a different world then; you came in when the street lights came on and you didnt play with anything other then your friends. It was good clean fun and you did your bookwork, listened to the radio with your dad, and then you went to bed and started all over again the next day.

I was the well-behaved oldest child of a preacher, so goofing wasn't around for me. But I grew up in a rural area with farmers' kids who didn't always toe the line. Too many submarine races to watch from the Lake Ontario beach....

My Dad Doesn't Know How To Let Go

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