Hello,
I had a very abbusive and controlling child hood. As an adult i've decided to exclude my parents from my life. I did seek councling for this at one time. And this was really the best path for me to take. Recently my parents are tring to fight for grandparent rights. I do have previous post about this. In any case, I was willing to work with them to see the kids. Just not me.... I don't want to be around them. But i really don't beleive they are good for my kids either. But feel as though i may get stuck sending them IF the judge grants them visitation. They are having a very hard time with me excludding them from my life. They are constantly following me and my husband, they have even followed me to my attorney's office and he's seen them. Recently I got mail from them. It looked like a christmas card. I had previously asked my attorney that they only contact me threw him. I sent the mail back to them un opened. IF the mail was addressed to the kids only, i would have givin it to the kids. It's the kids choice to make there own judgement. But anything addressed to me, I feel it's my right to send back. But here is the question. Should i have kept this un opened mail and givin it to my attorney? Would this help prove my case as far as them following me and continueing to contact me? I thought I had the right as an adult to make these choices for myself. Is this true? I would guess that no one can make me be around someone I don't want to be around? Thanks for your help!

talaniman

Note: I moved this post from relationships to here to get more feedback in a better place.

CaptainForest

If they are SO BAD that you don’t even want to be around them now, WHY would you subject your children to them?

Ever consider moving you, your husband and your kids somewhere else, therefore, making it harder for your parents to contact you by putting distance b/w you 2. Therefore they can’t follow you around.

Or a better suggestion…call the cops on them.

They are stalking you and harassing you.

The cops will give them a warning at first, and if they still do it after that, they will then be arrested.

tinkerbell77

thanks for the reply. Actually to answer your question, I don't want my children around them at all. Unfortunatly since I was divorced and my two older children are in a custody situation, my parents potitiened to get grandparent visitation. That is still up in the air weather the courts will allow it. But beleive me, I will fight it to the end!!!! We think the mail and following is getting worse cause they found out that my new husband and I are expecting a child in April. And according to state law they can't potiten the courts for grandparent visitation for a child in a in tacked home. So were thinking the letters were an attempt to try to win us over. But after all the past, there is no way to trust them. I have forgivin them for my own peace of mind... but will never be around them.

And actually me and my husband and the kids are trying to move closer to my husband's family. Putting 10 hours between us. BUT, since I am divorced I have to obtain the courts permission to leave with the kids since there dad is living here right now. He isn't activly involved and has moved out of state several times over the years. So i have a good case. But it's just taking time. =(

So should I have kept the letters to prove to the cops or lawyers that they continue to keep harrassing us? Or at least make a photo copy of the envelope before returning it to them?

CaptainForest

I wouldn't bother returning them. Keep them, or hand them over to the cops.

Send them a message that you don't want to be bothered with them by sticking the cops on them.

tinkerbell77

Thanks for the advise. I was thinking about that when i returned them, but i wanted to get some input to make sure it wasn't off the wall to give them to the cops or attorney.
I'll do that next time! =0)
Have a happy holidays!

ScottGem

You have requested that they contact you only through your attorney. For them to send mail directly to you shows that they are ignoring your requests. That will show a judge that they are not willing to respect your wishes and will work against them in obtaining visitation rights. So yes you should turn over such evidence to your attorney. You have to realize that's what they are is evidence.

tinkerbell77

I don't want to read them. So is it ok to turn them over un opened and allow the lawyer to open them if he wishes?
Could I press charges at all if they continue to try to send stuff?

ScottGem

Yes, of course you can turn them over unopened.

Whether you can press charges depends on whether there is a court order in place. It is not against the law to send mail to someone. The only way that would violate the law is if you had a court order prohibiting them from doing so.

tinkerbell77

I do have an status confrence with my attorney this afternoon. I will ask if I can obtain such a order.