For those of you that know me, know that I am pretty vocal about being a molested as a child from my brother. Well last night my brother who is truck driver came into town. We all had dinner as a family and everything was okay. Well my son got dirty so we put him in the bathtub to play while we finished eating. The kitchen is right beside the bathroom and the door was open. Now what scares me is that my brother went into the bathroom to play with my son...while my son was naked. I know that what happened to me happened a long time ago. I got upset and went to get my husband outside. I didn't say anything to my brother becuase I didn't want to make a big deal about it. Although I was very upest inside. So then after my sons bath my brother wanted to take him out to his semi to show him. I made my husband go with him....and my mom got upset with me. My question is....Am I making this a bigger deal then it should be....or do I have a right to worry? As you all know I am very protective of my son...he is my world and I would never want him to go through all the pain I went through after being violated like that. Also my brother only seemed interested in my son and no one else...is that strange?

kp2171

you asked why you feel so bad hurting him...

well... he is still your brother and you still care about him, just as you still care about your mother who refuses to face reality.

you, unfortunately, get to do the heavy lifting here. youre the parent. its up to you. so you will bear the weight of caring for your child as best you can, and you will bear the guilt of hurting your brother or your mother. up to you to be stronger than all of them.

grammadidi

RQ, I think that if your brother is going to be around you and your son then you and your husband need to talk with him privately and tell him that he may NOT be in a room alone with your son at any time. If he violates that even once then you should NOT participate in any family events with your son present if your brother is there. Your brother should NOT be allowed in your home at all. Your family are all in denial... not just about this, but about everything bad/negative. You need to stick up for yourself and your son and stop it NOW!

I have been raising a little girl for 12 years who went through similar circumstances to you because people wouldn't listen. It has destroyed her. Don't allow this to happen to your son.

Love, Didi

robertsqueen

Parajr

I can only offer my opinion, because I can't begin to put myself into your situation. They say that you are suppose to forgive, but he would not be in my house or near my kid. I'm sorry but you have to do what it takes to protect your child, that is the bottom line. Until you have resolved the issue between you two don't allow him into your home.

Megg

Personally, ppl make mistakes and can chage. Its possible ur bro is sorry and feels ashamed and sorry, but too affraid to say it. It's possible he wants to be an uncle to ur kid. If it were me, id talk to him about it. Why did he do it, is he sorry. If he is sorry and feels bad, he shouldnt be punished for life for a mistake. I'd let him see the kid, just not naked. I would follow or have someone keep an eye on him, but to not allow him to see or play with the kid is a bit harsh. Ppl make mistakes as big as this is. My dad touched me in wrong places when i was in 7th grade. My mom didnt kno what i ment so she never got him to come clean. To this day no one know's. It happened once, but i remember. Its done. He never talked about it again and nether did i. I was even touched by a guy in 5th grade. IN school while we watched movies. I didnt realize it was bad. So i know some of what you may have been through. BUT ppl can change. Good luck.