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Friendships · Mar 30, 2011, 01:05 PM

My friend and I have know each other for years and even had a past history together,Well we finally connected after a few years of not talking in any fashion, he had moved and got married and as I did as well. Up until recently he found me on Facebook and so we started talking again,and enjoying eachother's company. Time went on and we started to have a conversation about how my life is with my husband and how I am tired of being the only one that my kids can count on. I was letting him know that I was on the virge of getting a divorce. His comment to me was that I was being to selfish and that I need to think of my kids. Well then we got into a conversation about his teaching his little girl how to read and I asked him why he doesn't teach her, he said that he wasn't that great at it, and so with that I just happened to open my mouth and say well at least she will have a new daddy that can teach her!As soon as it was said I immediately appologized to him, he just sat in silence for a minute then he said he had to go. I did text him later and told him how deeply sorry I was for that comment,but nothing in response. Then the next day I called him to apologize again ,then he text me back and said that what I had told him was ****ty and that he doesn't want me to ever contact him again and that he was freakin serious! After all of this my heart aches for him, I miss the talks that we had, he's a great friend!! Do you think he will ever talk to me again?

Alty · Mar 30, 2011, 01:27 PM

Sounds like you really hurt him badly. What you said was very hurtful, and it sounds like he wants nothing further to do with you.

It's very easy to say something in haste. It's not so easy to take it back and make amends.

The ball is in his court now. You've apologized, and he didn't accept. There's really nothing more you can do but hope that time will heal the wound and he'll once again want to be your friend. I wouldn't spend my life waiting for it to happen though, as it likely won't.

Live and learn. That's all you can do.

Good luck. :)

dontknownuthin · Mar 31, 2011, 12:30 PM

You're being inappropriate on a lot of different levels. First, if you are going to divorce your husband, have the class and respect to end it with him before you start hinting around to old boyfriends/friends/whatever you want to call them that your'e available. Second, from the way this is written, there's nothing indicating that he wants a divorce, and it appears he doesn't support you getting a divorce, so your presumption his wife will remarry was weird. Why would you say to a married person that his children will be getting a new father? It was weird, too, that you were pushing him to teach his child to read - not really your place even if you are a friend. The right thing to say would have been, "Oh, I'm sure you'd be great at it" or, "she's going to learn so much from you", not to make a joke of his insecurity about his reading skills.

I think he realized that having this kind of conversation with a married woman was not territory he should pursue, and while you might send him an apology, that's all I'd find appropriate if I were him.

We all put our feet in our mouths, but it sounds like you're looking for a relationship with a married man while you are married yourself, and that is way off.