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I'm not sure if this is the right forum or not, so if not, I apologize!
I'm being sexually harassed at work by this guy who is an armed security guard. I work in a store and he is a frequent customer. He has his gun with him when he comes in.
It all started when he asked me out a while back. I'm in my early 20s and this guy is at least 40, probably older. I told him absolutely not, that I am engaged, and that I thought the age difference was too much even if I had been single. I thought it would end there. I was wrong.
Every time he comes in the store, he comments on my appearance. No swear words or anything crude- he seems to be trying to push the envelope by not quite crossing the line. He hasn't touched me so I can't call the cops. He just always says "Oh, you are just so pretty. I only come in here to look at you" After he leaves he sits in his car in the parking lot for at least 20 minutes, and I don't even WANT to know what he is doing out there...
A month ago, my boss was still at work, and I was in the office when he (security guy) came in. He started yelling" Hey, baby, why don't you come out here? Hey, you're so beautiful, just come out here so I can see you." and whistling and yelling at me like he was in a strip bar. My boss told him to get the you- know- what out of the store and never come in if he was going to act like that again. The guy then tried to walk back into the office anyway! My boss told him "Dude, if you walk back there, I will knock you on your butt so fast you won't even know what happened!" Since my boss is over 6 feet tall and big, the guy listened and left.
The very next day he came back and said that he would just wait and come in when the boss wasn't there. I told him to get lost. He stayed away for a few weeks and now comes in every day. He will drive around the block to see if there are cars, and wait until he knows I am here alone.
I've already talked to my supervisors about this. They said that they can't get a restraining order yet because since the incident with the manager, he has been on fairly good behavior. I am scared he will try to rape me or something. He has been going around town asking people where I live! Sooner or later someone will tell him, because he is offering them money to tell him! (I have an unlisted number and the house isn't in my name)
What can I do? The cops said there is nothing they can do yet. My boss just says if he comes in to call him (boss) and let him yell at him on the phone. That really isn't going to help. I need to know what to do. I'm so scared because he mentioned he has a gun with him all the time. I went to Walmart last night, and he was there and followed me around the store until I threatened to call security on him. He just laughed and said "You look hot when you get mad". I went to customer service to get the cops, and he was gone when they went to look for him.
The guy works for Securitas Security in the midwest. If anyone has any ideas it would help so much. I am really terrified and dread going to work every day. What do you do when someone technically hasn't broken the law?
Wow, the guy just came in here again! ( I'm at work now) Didn't say anything this time, but just stared at me until I told him to leave. He just said "Why, I'm not doing anything illegal, so there's nothing you can do" and walked out laughing. I am soooo mad!
I would send a letter to the HQ of the security service. I would also talk to a lawyer about a restraining order. You may have enough based on past behavior. Make sure someone always accompanies you to your car when you leave.
The store has the right to block anyone from entering. They do it all the time with shoplifters. Have the store manager write a letter banning him from the store. Have someone hand it to him the next time he comes in in front of witnesses. Send a copy to the local police with an affadavits that it was handed to him. If he comes in the store again, call the police and have him arrested for trespassing.
Keep a record of when he comes in and any witnesses to what he does, note them there and then in a diary. Talk to the security company, ask your boss to talk to the security company. Your boss also has a duty to have a safe working environment. There are harassment and stalking laws, you can get a court order, and it will help if you have documented, witnessed notes. Get your boyfriend to talk to him.
Along with the suggestions above I would call the company he works for and let them know he is harassing you. It doesn’t matter if he is on duty at the time or not only that he is in uniform which represents the company.
I've been thinking some about this. And I'm having second thoughts about reporting him to his company or otherwise putting his job at risk. It MIGHT come to that, but I would suggest exploring other alternatives first. If you do cause him to lose his job, this could put him over the edge.
I really think having the store formally ban him and notifying the police to that effect should be the first step. The next step would be to explore protection on stalking laws and trying to get a restraining order. If those fail, then going to his employer and/or government agencies can be tried.
You've got armed guards... Do you not also have security cameras?
If you are telling us the truth, and if you fear he will return, I would consider placing my own.
I too have been thinking about your dilemma since I read your post.
In America, we tend to think that there are people out there whose job is to protect us. However, when a situation like yours develops, we find out very quickly, that we're pretty much on our own. The police will only do something AFTER you've been harmed. In the final analysis, there's nobody out there who we can depend on........ except ourselves.
Toward that end, I think you need a concerted plan. This is a dangerous situation. I think you either need to DO something about it, or you need to move away. One OR the other. Anything in between will create MORE danger for you.
Scott is right on when he points out that pissing him off is only going to make it MORE dangerous for you. I agree.
Therefore, if you DO something, it must be a full on, no hold's barred, kick a$$ ASSAULT. It should be an all encompassing OFFENSE upon him. And, it all should happen within the space of a few days.
Each and every one of the suggestions you received above is good. You should do them ALL, and I have a few more. I'm not sure you CAN'T get a restraining order against him. I think you probably can. Plus, you can sue him for sexual harassment. You can also punch up your boss’s interest in protecting you in his store if you let him know that HE might be liable for sexual harassment claims if he doesn't. Hire a lawyer. He can help you with much of the above. I think the idea of your boss handing him a trespassing notice is great.
I'd do ALL of your communicating in writing. Letters to HIS boss, to YOUR boss, to store security, to the STATE should be sent certified, return receipt requested.
HE should get copies of ALL this stuff, and get served with your lawsuit at the same time.
I'd also buy a gun and get a concealed weapons permit. I'd send him a copy. Take self defense class. Send him a copy of your receipt. I suggest all of this happening at once will get his attention.
If you don't feel up to the task, and yes it's dangerous, take my first option. Leave town.
You've got armed guards... Do you not also have security cameras?
The guard is not from the store, just someone who comes into the store.
I also agree with excon's point about a full all points attack. Hire a lawyer who can develop a plan of attack for you. The best defense is a good offense.
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