My adult daughter won't tell me why she's so angry -
Asked Jun 1, 2009, 03:08 PM
I became a mother at 15, but through good choices and hard work, I made a great life for myself and my daughter. We lived well and we remained close after she grew up, left home, went to college and married. She left her daughter with me five days a week until the child started school. They were regular visitors at our house and we were at theirs. I divorced my husband (her step dad) last year after I learned he was using cocaine and having relationships with other women AND men. He became very hard to live with, secretive and deceitful about our finances, and hateful and contolling with me. My 42 year old daughter knew what he did and understood why I left, even suggested I stay at her house during the divorce. Rather than remain in the town where everyone knew everything, I moved 400 miles away, near where I grew up and have family. My daughter, granddaughter and I were very close until I left, but now my daughter gives me the cold shoulder when I call or write. I bought a beautiful new home, but she told my granddaughter I don't live in a very nice place so they won't be visiting! I asked her to level with me about why she was so angry and she said frostily, "I have no issues." Yet when I let her know I would be back in town in two weeks and wanted to take them to dinner and she said, "You can't just breeze into town and expect us to drop every thing to have dinner with you". I was stunned and hurt, and asked (in tears) why she was being so cold. She said she had no idea what I was talking about. I've seen her be this way to other people in her life over the years and even tried to get her to "get off her high horse" when she treated her father-in-law that way the last couple of years he was alive. She was unmovable. I sent her a gift, then called to wish her a happy birthday. She didn't acknowledge the gift, and when I said, "I love you", she said, "Okay" and hung up. The only insight I have had is that my ex tells me she's mad because I moved. I haven't got a clue as to how to proceed. How can I reach her?