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Home > Family & People > Other Family & People   »   adult daughter refuses to move out

 
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Old Dec 5, 2007, 09:49 PM
anniekee
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adult daughter refuses to move out

Daughter nearly 29 moved in to attend school, and I was willing to pay her tuition and allow her room and board if she would help with utilities, complete school and follow reasonable house rules. She was laid off from her p/t job, neglected school for several weeks, and has been partying in my basement at all hours, despite my actually interrupting the socializing, and chasing people out of my house. One man (one of these unwelcome "guests" has yelled at me twice ("What's your problem, Lady?"), and it has taken repeated requests to get him to leave. Each time I tell him not to return. Daughter continues to let him, and other friends in and screams at me when I attempt to throw them out. 2 days ago I notified that rude man that if I find him on my property again, the police will be called.
Last month, I handed her a written eviction notice, effective on or before the last day of December. She tells me alternately: "You'll be sorry when you never see me again!" and "I'd like to see you try to make me leave!"
Ugly as this already is, I'm sure it is likely to heat up even more.
Does anyone have suggestions for this type of situation in WA State if my daughter does not leave by the end of Dec? I will change the locks in early January, will continue to keep throwing out unwelcome guests, and won't hesitate to make good my promise to call the police if that one person returns.

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Old Dec 6, 2007, 04:37 AM   #2  
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I'm sorry this is happening to you. It sounds awful! I don't know too much about eviction in Washington State except that it can be time consuming, stressful and expensive. Changing your locks is probably a good idea, make sure all points of entry are secure.

If it was my house I would have followed the same route you did. They aren't leaving as you have asked. Your daughter is saying hateful, hurtful things to you. You have promised to call the police if that one rude "guest" returns. You have given an eviction notice.

If it were me, I'd say "now it's time to play hardball." The group of friends who hang out in your basement do so because it's a comfortable, safe place. Change that. If you are responsible for, and paying the utility bills, turn off the power and stay with a friend for a few days. Call the police if you see anything that is illegal, even something as simple as expired tabs on one of their cars. Ask your neighbors to call the police and report anything that disturbs them. Do not provide food or drinks. Do not accommodate them in any way. It's your house.
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Old Dec 6, 2007, 08:29 AM   #3  
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Thanks, Simoneaugie, for the supportive words. My daughter has not returned to the house since the confrontation I wrote about, but I expect her back any time. Making her uncomfortable is, like you suggest, is the only immediate plan I have before the end of the month. Eviction seems harsh, and so does embarrassing her and her friends, but by her disregard of my peace and security, she's created a situation with no other options, other than allow her bullying behavior. If it's a choice between wicked landlady and holy martyr, I choose to be the wicked landlady.
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Old Dec 6, 2007, 01:33 PM   #4  
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yep remember she has created the situation and you have to remedy it no matter what it takes. Right now she is feeling invincible because she thinks you will never back up your words. She might decide to never talk to you again if you do kick her out but what have you got to lose. Hopefully when she realizes you deserve respect she will come to her senses and make up.
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Old Dec 6, 2007, 10:16 PM   #5  
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NOhelp4you brought up good points. I hope that you and your daughter can reconcile at some later date. Wicked Landlady, embarrassing her in front of her friends? I think you should tell her just how you feel. She won't die if you call her on her own sh##. She will live through your anger too. My favorite rules of anger conduct are: 1. Don't hurt yourself. 2. Don't injure anyone else and 3. Don't break anything. Asking her to move out is not an injury to her. You have given plenty of advance warning.
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Old Dec 6, 2007, 10:28 PM   #6  
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You are totally right in putting her out under these circumstances! Sounds like she needs a dose of tough love to learn her lesson. If she chooses not to learn, that is her adult decision.

You have every right to peace and tranquility in your own house. Don't be afraid of calling the police on her either. She seems to need a wake up call! If she's not paying rent, I dont see why you would have to go through an eviction process, but I am not an expert on the legal stuff...

The police should side with you. They may consider it a domestic problem... I dont know, but you might want to call and inquire with your local police ahead of time as to their thought on the legal issues of putting her out whenever you want.
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