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    15 year old girl in love with me and I'm 34?

    Asked Jan 14, 2013, 03:31 AM 30 Answers
    Hello, I'm in bit of a pickle and need some help. I have been single about 2 years. I joined a dating site after I left my ex. An attractive girl got in touch with me, supposedly she was 18. It doesn't bother me dating someone younger providing they're an adult. Anyway we were chatting for a couple of weeks and I started to really like her but it turned out she was only 14 years old (at the time). I straight away broke it off and blocked her but this girl is persistent.

    For well over a year now she has been chasing me on Facebook using her friends accounts or making fake profiles, it makes no difference how many I block after a month or so she will be back chasing me. The last time I blocked her was about 4 months ago and she popped up about 2 weeks ago. Once again a fake profile and I fell for it and gave her my number. I have never even met this girl and she only lives a few streets away but she constantly texts and calls me. I have tried to make her see sense and have even tried being really nasty to no avail. She is constantly telling me she loves me and that she won't stop until she gets me.

    She will be 16 in 3 months making her legal in this country as she keeps reminding me. If I'm honest I do fancy her as she is good looking and pretty mature considering. I just feel wrong about it all, I never even met the girl but starting to consider it. I have never married and got no kids. I know its wrong and she has her whole life ahead of her and I will be old while she is still young but its getting hard to block out these feelings. Can anyone give me some advice please?

    Last edited by talaniman; Jan 14, 2013 at 04:36 PM.
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    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 36,740, Reputation: 5277
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    #21

    Jan 14, 2013, 07:14 AM


    Do you frequently "friend" people on FB that you are not friends with in real life? Maybe it would be best to decline the FB friend requests until she gets the message.
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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 61,891, Reputation: 5755
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    #22

    Jan 14, 2013, 07:46 AM


    I never accept a friend request on FB unless I know who that person is in real life.
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    imconfused34's Avatar
    imconfused34 Posts: 10, Reputation: 2
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    #23

    Jan 14, 2013, 07:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Do you frequently "friend" people on FB that you are not friends with in real life? Maybe it would be best to decline the FB friend requests until she gets the message.
    I don't accept any friends requests but it doesn't stop people sending me messages.

    I will continue to block and ignore if it doesn't stop I will talk to the police.
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    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 16,544, Reputation: 2336
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    #24

    Jan 14, 2013, 09:52 AM
    Again, assumptions... this time friending on FB, which you never mentioned you did.

    Upon further thought, however, it isn't just your honest admission that you were intrigued that is a little puzzling. You have this stalker, you know she uses friends and fake profiles, yet you gave out your phone number to one of them without caution.

    So.. although I think we have wrung you through the wringer a bit, some of it is understandable.
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    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,605, Reputation: 669
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    #25

    Jan 14, 2013, 10:06 AM
    I think you should get off line for several months. There are other ways you can meet people for dating purposes in person, such as singles groups that get together for dinner and other social events. If you meet people in person, you will know who you are dealing with a lot better than on-line.

    Every time this girl contacts you if she finds your email or phone tell her, "I consider this harassment. Do not contact me." If she contacts you after you say this once, contact the police and ask them to intervene.

    And know - this girl, with her multiple profiles - is probably doing this to multiple men. Don't start thinking that you're the only guy. This is how she feeds her ego and entertains herself, by creating a bunch of profiles to create a bunch of fake relationships with a lot of people. In fact, she may not be a girl at all. She could be 60 for all you know. And your thought that she's mature? Uhm, no - the words I'd use to describe this would be crazy, immature, needy, self-absorbed, liar.

    Getting involved with this alleged young "her" is really a dumb, dumb idea. Besides being underage, she's also nuts. You're better off to meet a women your age at church, a pub, doing some sort of charity work, or through singles events or a dating service that does not rely on computers. Stop hiding behind your computer and go meet people in person.
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    krafteame's Avatar
    krafteame Posts: 48, Reputation: 11
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    #26

    Jan 14, 2013, 10:57 AM
    After reading everyone's posts to you I would just like to add one thing. If you do not take anyone's advice please just do one thing. Protect yourself from any legal backlash this person could create against you. You must be able to prove that you have did nothing to encourage any of her persistent attention. You need to make a log of every time she has contacted you. Even all the aliases she has used. Then go to the police and make a report if for no other reason than to have it on record so she cannot come back and turn the whole mess around on you. Then I would do as, Dontknownuthin suggested, and let her know " you consider this harrassment and do not contact me anymore" I would not waver from this statement. Do not reply in any other way. Then I would let the police handle it if she continues. In doing this you are not sending anything that could be construed as a "mixed" message to her and you will stay in the right in the eyes of the law. And believe me you do not want it any other way if you value your freedom and don't want to vacation in jail. That is why girls such as her are referred to as "Jail Bait" Please for your own sake do what you must to protect yourself. I hope that what I have said and the others will help you and influence you to do what is smart. Good Luck.
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    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,605, Reputation: 669
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    #27

    Jan 14, 2013, 11:15 AM
    I agree Kraft... this could be an effort to set you up. Go proactively to the police with her various aliases and profile names and ask if they would have any means of tracking her down and talking to her parents about her dangerous behavior.

    Again, "She" may not be a young girl at all - you could be communicating with a 60 year old guy for all you know. People who make fake profiles are probably creating alter egos as well. Could well be a gay or transgender adult guy who's not out, but wants to flirt with men.
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    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 1,630, Reputation: 468
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    #28

    Jan 14, 2013, 11:21 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dontknownuthin View Post
    I agree Kraft...this could be an effort to set you up. Go proactively to the police with her various aliases and profile names and ask if they would have any means of tracking her down and talking to her parents about her dangerous behavior.

    Again, "She" may not be a young girl at all - you could be communicating with a 60 year old guy for all you know. People who make fake profiles are probably creating alter egos as well. Could well be a gay or transgender adult guy who's not out, but wants to flirt with men.
    "Could well be a gay or transgender adult guy who's not out, but wants to flirt with men." We could also call this person a nut case without slamming the whole gay community.

    But I agree with you and think about it. What 15/16 year old goes to this length? And if she is as attractive as stated, she would be getting hit on in school and wouldn't need this attention.
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    tickle's Avatar
    tickle Posts: 21,389, Reputation: 2427
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    #29

    Jan 14, 2013, 11:37 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by dontknownuthin View Post
    I agree Kraft...this could be an effort to set you up. Go proactively to the police with her various aliases and profile names and ask if they would have any means of tracking her down and talking to her parents about her dangerous behavior.

    Again, "She" may not be a young girl at all - you could be communicating with a 60 year old guy for all you know. People who make fake profiles are probably creating alter egos as well. Could well be a gay or transgender adult guy who's not out, but wants to flirt with men.
    I never thought about this angle. Someone "posing" and I totally agree.

    This is what police do to catch pedophiles as well.
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    dontknownuthin's Avatar
    dontknownuthin Posts: 2,605, Reputation: 669
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    #30

    Jan 14, 2013, 11:43 AM
    Not slamming the whole gay community. My point is that the poster may well not be who they claim to be.

    One example of motivation to create a fake profile to flirt with a man would be if a person is attracted to men but cannot openly admit to it. This might be explained if the person was gay but not able for whatever reason to come out and live honestly as a gay person, or possibly if they are transgender and wish to be a young girl, but are not physically a young girl. It could also be a woman in her forties or fifties who's lonely, or a straight guy doing this as a gag, or a group of friends who create fake profiles to amuse themselves. I didn't mean the examples to be exhaustive - just to make the point that he shouldn't take anything this person has claimed at face value.

    I don't think I implied in any way that all or most gay or transgender people create fake profiles and stalk people on the internet. It was more of an, "for all you know, it could be this guy, or that guy...."
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