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cyrenasworld · Nov 26, 2007, 02:00 PM

I need an opinion on something. My husband and I have been through hell and continue to go through hell. For many many reasons, I decided to break it off with him and had no communication with him for several weeks. I accidentally picked up the phone before looking at the caller I.D last week and ended up talkig to him, I'd been avoiding him like the plage for the weeks we were apart and this was helping me cope. Well one thing led to another and he ended up coming to my place for Thanksgiving dinner and spending the weekend. He had broken me down again. Anyway, while his son's mother was reaming him out for having me around his son (FOR NO GOOD REASON MIGHT I ADD) she let it slip, quite on pupose, that he had text messaged her at 5am during the weeks we weren't talking and told her he loved her.

His explanation-he was lonely and desperate and I had been ignoring him but of course he doesn't loooovvvvee her.. he LOVEEEEEES me. He called her the next morning and tried to take it back. I think there is more to the story.

While I have been no angel and have messed up royally, I've never told another that I loved them. Does anyone have any thoughts to share? Men have a hard enough time saying they love you when they do mean in, let alone when they don't. HELP I need backup

NowWhat · Nov 26, 2007, 02:03 PM

I don't think a man (or anyone) as a problem saying anything if it gets them what they want. I think people have a problem meaning what they say.

If you had left him already and that was working for you - then you should continue on that path. You probably don't need the drama and would do better with a clean break.

digger1 · Nov 26, 2007, 04:01 PM

I agree that sometimes when mistakes are made, its best to move on and take what you have learned from that. As hard as it might be and as heartbreaking as it might be. How long have you been married? Are you willing to right the wrongs on your behalf, are you wanting to save your marriage, what are the things in your marriage/relationship worth fighting for/saving?
When people are desperate and emotional, we do irrational things, we try to soothe the hurt any way we can, even if if means lying, cheating, hurting others, anything to soothe the internal pain we feel. That doesn't excuse bad behavior, but it does give insight into why your husband may have said/texted the things you relayed.
Have you tried writing down the pro's and con's of staying together versus leaving? Perhaps both of you could write this down and swap it, if you feel intimidated or unsure of talking it through.

isabel1515 · Jun 10, 2010, 05:50 PM

OMG----just like my relationship... weve been together for a LONG while ---but he had told some girl that HE JUST MEET(we had broke up)that he loved her I had no idea how to handle it --and I really don't want to be with him but the only thing that holds me back is that I LOVE HIM I know I should leave him it's the right thing to do.. :(

isabel1515 · Jun 10, 2010, 05:51 PM

And well unfortunatly---i haven't been so faithfull to him(he doesn't know) but now I am

Devorameira · Jun 11, 2010, 08:16 AM

I don't know why he told the ex he loved her. Maybe he was just feeling lonely and was scared that you wouldn't take him back and felt he needed somebody - just anybody.

I sort of get the impression that you really don't want to be with him at all. If that's true, why even consider reconciliation?