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Originally Posted by Lenovo Why do I feel the best when I am horribly depressed? What I mean is, When I am terribly depressed, Its almosst a good feeling, but I remain depressed, kind of nice I guess. |
I think I can relate and explain why you feel this way...you feel this way because you obviously get something out of it for feeling like crap. What you get out of it is the ability to continue to make yourself wrong. I believe that things happened in your life (negative/bad/whatever) and you created a sentence (if you will) on yourself. So in other words, you give yourself permission to feel like crap in order to support that rediculous story in your head that you are not good enough in life. I know this because I often do the same thing. The other piece of it is that you love drama and pain. Its what you know and have known for years. I can bank on it. Its always easier to make yourself wrong as a way to not be responsible for yourself and your life. I dont think you have a chemical imbalance or anything, I think you just need to start changing your outlook on things. Look, I have had more trauma and abuse and everything else go on in my life for years and whenever the slightest thing happens to me, I make myself wrong for it and or blame myself for why things went the way they did. Believe in yourself and if you hear yourself talking down about yourself, catch yourself and change that.