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When is it 'okay' to commit suicide over problems

Asked Jul 25, 2012, 05:21 PM — 117 Answers
I am learning disabled, unemployed and been looking for work for over a year and a half now. I do not have much work experience. Sigh. I have come to point where I am on public assistance but still unable to pay my utility bills. they are going to shut everything off the day after tomorrow. no air no phone nothing.

i know people have a lot of problems in this world, but i reach my wits end. i try to get on programs to help myself but nothing pans out, just keep getting run around. family have give me money in the past and cannot ask them anymore. i have no friends.

i want to know when it's considered okay to commit suicide if you cannot handle your outstanding bills and have no ways to remedy them?

everyone want to say 'oh don't do it,' but yet i have no other solutions.

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117 Answers
Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,369, Reputation: 24138
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#31

Jul 27, 2012, 06:06 PM


Cognitive-behavioral Therapy (CBT) --

cognitive = thinking
behavioral = actions

Change the way a person thinks about something so that person's actions will change.
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JudyKayTee's Avatar
JudyKayTee Posts: 45,405, Reputation: 23548
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#32

Jul 27, 2012, 06:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
Cognitive-behavioral Therapy (CBT) --

cognitive = thinking
behavioral = actions

Change the way a person thinks about something so that person's actions will change.

Off to read up - thanks.
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redlipsticklena's Avatar
redlipsticklena Posts: 148, Reputation: 8
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#33

Jul 28, 2012, 02:15 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wondergirl View Post
Okay. Does the counselor know that? And she thinks CBT will make it happen?

Does your counselor know that she is supposed to get involved with you and stuff that she wants you to do? She can't just sit there in her cushy office and tell you how she thinks your life can get better by changing your thinking. She has to move her butt and get physically involved. If she wants you to go horseback riding, then as a CBT counselor, she has to go with you and ride a horse too. If she wants you to volunteer at a nursing home, she has to go with you and volunteer too and show you the ropes. She is your counselor and your real-time coach. I know this. I used to be a CBT counselor.
she dont get out of the office and go do nothing like that with me. she cant. she have client after me i go for one hour a week. she justs is tell me to snap a rubberband when i have negative thought and replace with positive thoughts. but i can't do it. i am tired of trying to lie to myself.

it is too late for me to be a normal part of life wondergirl. don't you see that?? i am now too old and out of the game for any men to want me and also i dont have friends and don't want them. so what's the point of living.
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,369, Reputation: 24138
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#34

Jul 28, 2012, 02:30 PM


It is your responsibility as a paying client to snap this counselor into reality. She is not doing what she should be doing. Snapping a rubber band on your wrist is pathetic and apparently doesn't help you. It's no wonder you feel hopeless!

The next time you see her, I want you to do what I advised my clients to do with me when something wasn't working for them -- raise your hand up in the air and say "Stop! This isn't working for me! This counseling isn't helping me!" When she recovers from her shock, I'm hoping she will begin to ask you honest questions and figure out a better and more effective way to do the counseling.

Let me know what happened.
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redlipsticklena's Avatar
redlipsticklena Posts: 148, Reputation: 8
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#35

Jul 28, 2012, 09:51 PM
I don't want to causes trouble and tell her how to do her job though. i am not trained therapist in anything.
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,369, Reputation: 24138
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#36

Jul 28, 2012, 10:05 PM


Quote:
Originally Posted by redlipsticklena View Post
I don't want to causes trouble and tell her how to do her job though. i am not trained therapist in anything.
No, you are the client. Do you pay her money for therapy? You are the customer, the consumer. It is your responsibility to tell her this is not working for you. She needs to know that so she can adjust how she does counseling with you. Otherwise, you are not being fair to her.

This is not to cause trouble. It is to help your therapy.

If you don't, she is clueless and you are angry and hopeless. Nothing positive gets done.
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redlipsticklena's Avatar
redlipsticklena Posts: 148, Reputation: 8
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#37

Jul 29, 2012, 09:11 PM
no i do not pay money i am on assistance until i can find someone hire me. shes a nice lady and everything.
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,369, Reputation: 24138
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#38

Jul 29, 2012, 09:13 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by redlipsticklena View Post
no i do not pay money i am on assistance until i can find someone hire me. shes a nice lady and everything.
But you are not a happy client who is improving.
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redlipsticklena's Avatar
redlipsticklena Posts: 148, Reputation: 8
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#39

Jul 30, 2012, 08:28 AM
well wondergirl thats why i think i should just quit the therapy. it doesnt seem working for me i been in it for 2 and a half years now. everybody else i knows my age is married have kids or live in partners or whatever and good jobs. i did what i could to try and make it happen for myself but it doesnt work out ever. i dont beleive there's much hope for myself anymore. its simply too late to try and fix anything now.
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Wondergirl's Avatar
Wondergirl Posts: 31,369, Reputation: 24138
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#40

Jul 30, 2012, 11:15 AM
Quote:
Originally Posted by redlipsticklena View Post
well wondergirl thats why i think i should just quit the therapy. it doesnt seem working for me
Therapy isn't working for you because you and the therapist are working against each other. Does she know you are not happy with the therapy? She needs to know that.

And don't you dare quit! You are still very young with plenty of time ahead of you to make this work better.
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