Dear Sir,


I am a 27 years old female, working in a hospital as a medical record technician.

I used to think that my problem is that I need a long time to get along with people, but in a while I get close to almost everybody around me, that happened in college and in my old job. I still have friends from both.

But recently I found out that I am not sociable at all, I wish I am a different person, I hate my self for being that way, I am afraid of meeting new people, or the right word is scared, I keep thinking what I am gonna say when I meet them?, will they think that I am silly? A thousands of questions cross my mind. And to say the truth I try to avoid new people as much as I can, and when I have no choice, then I won't say a word unless they asked me a question. Even if I try to talk, then I am not sure what to say. I can't open a real conversation with people.

I believe that everybody think that I am boring, and they are absolutely right iam really boring.

I don’t like going anywhere by my self, even to the supermarket, I have a feeling that everyone is watching me and laughing at me, I always afraid that the cashier would ask me something and to get confused. I know it sounds stupid but that’s the truth.

I don’t know what to do, would you please help me? What's wrong with me? Is there any books might help me ????? cause going to therapist is not an option, can I be a normal human being??

Yours,
Linda

lilfyre

lilfyre's lil girl

hello there,
i am lilfyre's daughter and i agree with what she has said about the social anxiety. i know what your going through i have social anxiety myself and it sound like what your explaining. i have the hardest time going to school because i feel like everyone is talking about me and making fun of me. i had missed so much school that the school made me go see a therapist. i did not want to go at all but my mom made me. i thought it was only for crazy people but sitting in the waiting room i seen people that i thought looked completely normal, but everyone has there own problems and i found out my therapist see a therapist and had the same problems i have. therapists are not as bad as they seem. i really think you should try to go to a therapist even if you dont tell anyone. i didnt tell my friends i was going a therapist for a very long time. most of them found out when i went in to the hospital. so try it is if it works for you.

devan

lbarbar

Dear Joe

I really do appreciate your response, thank you so much.

It helped me a lot to know that I am not alone, and that there are people out there just like me, so I am normal after all.

What you've told me made me think, that I really should work on my self esteem, start believing in my self, loving my self, by doing that it will help me to accept who really I am, not to worry about what other people think.

I think that’s the real problem here, I don't believe in my self, don't trust my self enough, I've been through a lot of experiences and situations that destroyed my self confidence.

Do you think I am right? That the social problem I had is related to my self confidence?

Linda


Dear lilfyre and lilfyre's lil girl,

Thank you for your reply, you are really very sweet and kind.

I have read the symptoms of social anxiety. I think it doesn’t describe my condition, (accelerated heart rate, profuse sweating, trembling, nausea, twitching, weeping) that doesn’t happen to me.

About going to a therapist, its really very very difficult for me to go, would you ming lilfyre's lil girl telling me what has your therapist told you?


Linda

lilfyre's lil girl

you do not have to have all the symptom to have social anxiety. what my therapist has told me pertain to my specific problems. i have more problems then just social anxiety so i dont know if what she has told me would help you. im also on many medications and thats helped me a lot but i will try to help you as much as i can. just ask me a question and i'll try to fill you in.

Jesushelper76

Your welcome Linda. I wanted to make a difference and to let you know that you are normal. Yes, self esteem, self confidence problems does have a lot to do with social problems. Unlike your other responses I personally do not think you need to see a therapist. You just need to open up to close friends and to learn how to let go of past situations that actually effect your self confidence. I know I have had many things happen to me in the past which I do believe effected me in the future because Instead of learning from it and letting it go, I held on to it and it prevented me from moving foward. Once you learn not to be afraid anymore and to start accepting yourself for who you are. That will be a big step in approving your confidence. If you would like to talk at anytime. Please feel free to contact me. I will always be here. Anytime you need to open up. I hope I have helped but now you need to make some changes to help yourself and it is all in the way you think about yourself.

Joe

talaniman

You think you have problems I'm to dumb to be scared, to stubborn to quit,to selfish to care what anybody thinks,to wrapped up in myself ,to care what anybody does,and to cheap to seek help,You sound pretty normal to me but what would I know?

Fr_Chuck

I used to get actually physcially sick sitting in my car outside of where I worked, I still hate talking on the phone ( I can meet people in person all day, but picking up a phone and calling someone, even the Pizza place to order a pizza just bothers me)

We all have some issues, many hide it well, others find ways of dealing with things.

You do need professional help, so don't say that is not an option, it is always an option. A complete physcial, one can not rule out a medical problem, but it may be all sorts of issues. I wonderful friend helped me get the help I needed to become the outgoing person I am today ( still don't like phones but I use one everyday anyway)