Way Un-balanced

It's perfectly normal to experience the emotions you describe.
It's no fun to make mistakes but on the positive side,
It happens to everyone and it's the way we are most likely to learn.

I'm very sorry for the situation you are in with your mother.
I give you credit for your efforts in telling her how you feel and for expressing your desire of wanting to spend time with her.

If spilling your heart out to your mother has not made her realize that SHE'S missing out and you are repeatedly disappointed over her lack of interest,
Then it's my opinion that you should channel that energy in a more positive direction.

Put all that time and energy wasted on other people to good use
And focus on yourself and your future.
Maybe your mother will come around one of these days, and maybe she won't.
Please try not to let your mothers short comings hold you back.
If you take care of yourself first and foremost, you won't have sat
Around waiting for everyone else to move...you will have made something out of yourself and your life...which makes it a lot easier to forgive and accept
Others for their wrong doings in the future....

Your mothers behavior is in NO way right or acceptable, I'm only suggesting you not allow this bad behavior to influence your life in a negative way.

Best wishes

Wow thank you all. It's so nice to know that there are still people out there that can be so helpful and caring to someone they hardly know.

ChihuahuaMomma, about the counseling, I have talked to my mother's therapist with her there. We both made promises that we never kept. It felt like we were sitting there saying well you didn't do that so I didn't feel that I should live up to my promise. I don't think that she treats me my age, so she doesn't expect any maturity from me, so it's hard to be mature when I'm being treated like a child. When I get my head together I'll go sit down and talk to her abouts what's bugging me, but she doesn't seem to care or believe that my feelings are called for. I think it's time that I ask if we can go again because we can't work it out on our own, thank you!

N0help4u, I've spent a lot of time deciding who I want to spend my time with and what I want to do. Your response made me think that I'm thinking about all the things that my mom has done to hurt me, and she's thinking the same thing, so we're both so involved in ourselves that we're not getting anywhere.

Jrebel7, you're exactly right. I look at everyone else and I wonder why I'm so crazy. I think writing a letter would be good, because then we won't get lost in an argument, I just need to figure out how to say things without coming off as selfish or hurtful. From a mother's viewpoint (to everyone), what would you want your child to say to you?

Chery- I think I will print this out, I'm just a little afraid that she'll take it as an insult. When you said that we need to learn to accept our fears, I realized that it's something I really need to work on. I always assume what I'm feeling is wrong, and try to forget it. Thank you, virtual hugs back.

Ordinaryguy- I do have anger that I need to get out. The only way I have so far is to go run on the treadmill, do you have any suggestions?

Choux- it's kind of funny that you said that. The college I'm going to specializes in nursing, but I'm actually going into pre-pharmacy. I'm moving into the dorms this month, which probably adds to everything because I'm nervous and excited. I do live with my dad and I love him more than anything in the world. He's been here for me so much, and has taught me many things that I need to be successful and independent. Maybe when my mom sees me as more mature then we can talk things through. I volunteer a lot and I'm really sad because I'll have to leave soon. I'll be in college and I won't have a way to get there. Maybe I'll look into taking the bus there.

AKaeTrue- "Your mothers behavior is in NO way right or acceptable, I'm only suggesting you not allow this bad behavior to influence your life in a negative way." She always says that it's her hobby and everyone has hobbies so I have no right to tell her to stop. I point out that I just want her to limit her time on it so she's not always so tired. Thank you for saying that, I felt like I was alone in thinking what she was doing was wrong. I really will try to stay positive.