On the verge of giving up- I know, you hear it all the time...

I've seen so many counselors / psychiatrists / psychologists and it all seems useless. I've been down for a good 8-10 years . I got by by saying "Things will get better after XYZ" but I've run out of XYZs and things aren't better- why would they be?

I've been on several anti-depressants, and although they help with the "downs" they don't help with the hopelessness and feelings of no-point to life. My last psychiatrist put me on ADHD meds and antidepressants- he says it's pretty common with adult ADHD people with high IQs (172), as I think so deeply about everything it kills me (maybe literally)

although I did take an attempt on my life in 2002, I've gotten through it all by what I said above- (thinking things will get better after xyz) or by thinking that there may be other options.

I've run out of options, and I just don't know what to do at this point. Is there anything I haven't tried which may help, or places to go that may be able to help?

Clough

To me, a big part of life is about making choices, dealing with the cards that I've been dealt and cost and benefit. I don't mean cost and benefit in the sense of money but about the choices that we make in the way that we think and for what we do.

There's some really bad stuff happening in my own life right now. I have friends that are helping me to cope with those things. It's really hard for me to make the good, positive and proactive things that I know that I need to do and prepare for with positive thinking, which is also hard for me to do. But, I will do it because I know that I have to.

Do you have a good support system of family and friends on whom you can rely for help with the way that you think and subsequently do?

Thanks!

ryans2fast4u

I echo the appology/comment on the same cynical statement I left with Clough.

Currently moving from upstate NY myself.

as far as characteristics, I'm not quite sure what I should be going after. I'd imagine that I would want someone who could prod me a little bit and help me open up, who wouldnt seem to pass judgement, who wouldnt fall for my unintentional mind games, can help me sort through flip-flopping, and who wouldnt come in with preconceived notions. Someone who could understand that I live behind a facade and that my behavior is typically based on how I feel I should behave and not how I want to behave. I would like someone who honestly wants to see me gain value from the interactions, and someone who could empathetically see things from my perspective even if they don't agree. Lastly, the one thing I can't stand is someone who simply echos back exactly what I say. I know that works for a lot of people (I've had those interactions with friends for example), but even though i know noone can tell me exactly whats up, I need someone who can help me figure me out, who isn't afraid to push, anger, and stress me out, and is willing push me out of my comfort zones.

Clough

What do you think about what I wrote in post #31 above, ryans2fast4u?

Thanks!

ryans2fast4u

I'm sorry to hear about the bad things happening, but I am glad to hear you are working through them with supportive friends, and positive thinking. I certainly hope for the best in whatever those bad things are.

As far as a "good support" system of family and friends, I would say no. Family relationship is very superficial ( http://www.askmehelpdesk.com/other-f...me-365489.html ). Never had much communication within the family, although on paper it looks near perfect. As far as friends are concerned, I've never been too good with friendships. People tend to really like me as an aquaintance but not much more. I typically cycle through friendships in 6 mo to a year through my entire life (through school and into adulthood), and over the past few years I have been actively trying to maintain friendships better but with limited success- Overall, this means I never get to the real "supportive" stage. In highschool I lost some friendships when I went through a hard time. Felt like as soon as I needed someone they would scatter, and have always been skeptical about the possibility of having a close friend- probably a self fulfilling prophecy. The closest thing I've had to a support system is I always have had a girlfriend since about 5th grade (not the same one)- don't think I've been single more than a week in my life (I know thats NOT something to be proud of) but typically I go for girls who are poor communicators like me, so I don't really ever end up sharing much, although it helps give me some security.

Clough

Water seeks its own level, it's a basic law in physics. It's the same way with people.

I haven't read everything over yet on this thread but have done some scanning. So, please forgive me if I ask about something that's already been clarified. There's a lot to take in here.

You are living on your own. Is that correct?

Thanks!

Clough

Are you still there, ryans2fast4u?

Thanks!

ryans2fast4u

Sorry- If I stay on the page it doesnt send me an email to tell me I have a response- I just now figured that out.

I am not living on my own, I have a wife who I am living with.

Clough

Okay, that tells me a lot there. I didn't know that you were married.

How long have you been married, please?

I haven't gotten the email notifications in many hours now either.

Thanks!

ryans2fast4u

I've been married for 2 years now, although I am not sure how much longer it will last. Not sure how much details you want, but we actually get along great- we both just kind of feel like roomates instead of a married couple and thought we should consider ending things before we have children. I know thats a whole other issue, but I think the root causes are related.

Clough

Hey, I made it 2&1/2 years! I'd like to see you beat me with yours lasting at least 50 years!