I'm a 21 year old Girl from South Africa who's currently studying Animation in Vancouver. I came to this country alone and I've been living here since September 2007.

For the past week I feel I have more on my plate than I can handle. I have 6 assignments that need constant attention for school (try picturing doing 1000 drawings for each assignment) I have 2 Critiques coming up next week, I had one last week which I did horribly in (I got about 60% due to a stupid easily avoided mistake). The workload is starting to strain me.
On top of this my very good friend and roommate is very miserable lately as she's really homesick. A week before that her mother and grandmother came over and she had a horrible eye-opener as to how bad her Grandmother's Alzheimer's has become. Yesterday she found out her grandmother fell and broke her ankle in 3 places, and that when she was taken to hospital they found a blood clot in her heart's major artery. She's beyond stressed out.
On top of this my friend back in South Africa who is gay is going through some deep emotional strain as he feels he's developing rather alarming psychotic thoughts because he's unhappy with himself as he wants to be, sadly, a jock. He is also desperate for a loving relationship but he's never met a guy he feels deeply enough for. So he's become frustrated and so angry all the time. He vented this out in his blog which, after reading it, sent me into a spiral as I am 21, and if I may say so without sounding egocentric, a very pretty girl, but a late bloomer whose never even HAD a boyfriend before and frankly I'm unsure I'll ever have enough courage to make the moves needed to acquire one.
Last night I had several nightmares that my mom was seriously ill but I had no way of helping her because I was too far away (despite being in the same room in the dream)
I've also found to my horror yesterday while speaking over the phone to her that I haven't seen her in so long I feel disconnected from her... like I've forgotten who she is.

I have all these trapped feelings and I don't know how to deal with them. I cannot speak to my friend because what with all the crap going on in her life she doesn't need this to stress her out as well, I cannot vent in my blog as my Gay friend reads it and it distresses him to hear I've been so stressed out recently. I don't want to call my mom as I just told her yesterday I was feeling better recently and I don't want to remind her how far apart we are as she's missing me greatly. I don't want to speak to the lady I'm staying with because frankly, she reminds me too much of my grandmother. always asking "why aren't you doing so-and-so? why don't you go do so-and-so? you SHOULD be doing so-and-so" with every little thing I do and she's WAY too eager to give practical, blunt advice instead of just giving sympathy. She's very nice, but I can't handle her personality with such a feeling. she'll just say "Well it's hard for every-one." and "I feel that way too look what I'm going trough"

I'm getting irritable at night, I'm having trouble waking up in the mornings, I woke up with a migraine today, I've spent most of my day crying in my room and I've been feeling very light-headed lately.

so to cut this short here's the question: What should I do? I asked this question here because, although it's a rather vague question to ask, I really feel I have nowhere else to turn.

My dearest friends are unhappy, I am severely stressed out and I feel so helpless because there's nothing I can do or say to them that could help them with their problems.
I have too much on my plate, what can I do to stop myself from having a complete breakdown?

starbuck8

Hey there girl!
You sound like you have an AWFUL lot going on!! No kidding you need someone to talk and vent to. Your nightmare, although disturbing and not what you needed when so much is going on, was no doubt due to your roomates problems with her family. You're empathy towards her just transfered to your own family in your dream.

If you want someone to talk about anything, anytime, you can always send me a private msg., and I will be there to listen and give you any help I can. You shouldn't always be thinking that you're imposing just because others have their own problems and stress- filled lives. Everyone does, and often it's a break from their own personal problems to try and help someone else with theirs. I've got an ear or two if you need them!

simoneaugie

Get your schoolwork done. Try to stay on top of it even though from what you've described it's a lot. It's true, telling your troubles to friends can help put their issues, and your own into perspective. Yes, stuff is probably hard on the lady you're living with, too bad she is unable to see that you simply need a supportive ear.

Write it down. Get a clean notebook and vent. You can read it to yourself, burn it, share it with your mom when you get home...This will pass. You will make it through, it looks dark and dreary at the moment. Get out in the sun and feed the ducks, walk and rant to yourself about all the things in your life that you have no control of right now.

tkoernke

Pray to god , it really does help.Contact your mom and talk to her truthfully,Mothers are human too.Tell her about the hard time your having,she can help.My mother died a year ago, I wish I could still call her ,she was my best friend .We were always truthful to each other. I hpe you can handle the pressure you are under. I hope your friends get better too. GOODLUCK ---TAMMY

skaapie

Hey Every-one. First of all thank you for reading and giving some time to answer me, that in itself helps. It's good to just have some-one listen to you for a while.

As an update, I had my Life drawing Critique yesterday. I was under the impression it was on the 28th so it caught me completely off guard. I had a small breakdown as I felt that that just tops all. (I DO have a critique on the 28th but that was a different one) However thanks to some hectic finishing up and switching a time slot with one of the other students my critique went down fine. I am completely prepared for the one on Friday as I had thought it was going to be on Wednesday. I've got my dates sorted out now.

I am still very irritable, and it doesn't help that my roomate who, although was awesomely supportive yesterday during the crit fiasco, is busy working on her stuff for Friday's crit and therefore talking to me without a shred of respect in her voice. This isn't an exagguration as several people who have seen us speak often say to me "You know she's peaks very nastily to you". This isn't helping my stress levels either, despite me telling her how burnt out I've become.

Now to the answers:

Starbuck8 - Thank you for the kind offer of just listening, it really meant a lot to me to have the first response to this just be some-one willing to listen. Also, I know I have a very bad habit of not wanting to impose on people when I have a problem, up to the point that when it becomes a very large health-risking problem it'll be the first they hear about it. I will try to be better about it because what you said was very true, I try to take time and help others with their problems because it makes me feel I'm solving a problem to an extent, and that maybe my own problems can also be sorted out. I will try talking more readily when I really feel I can't do something alone. thank you again for the support.

Simoneaugie - Finding a notebook to write these things down in is actually a good idea. I've never been one for diary writing, although I blog very often, the difference being that when I feel people will read what I write it makes it worthwhile. Now that I am trying to deal with issues I do not want my friends back home to read having a completely private place to just vent sounds like a very good Idea. thank you so much for suggesting it. I am rying to focus on my schoolwork. I have been goofing off a lot lately but I try and make a point of keeping to a personal weekly deadline to keep myself productive. A career in Animation is my lifetime dream, and I refuse to just give it up because things are hard. I will keep striving forward. thank you for taking time to listen and reply.

Tkoernke - I pray ever night, but I don't often ask for help, I give thanks to my blessings. Perhaps I'm afraid to ask for help because I feel it makes me weak or that there will be a price or simply because I'm afraid the answer will be a "no". I should take more time to do so though, if just to ease my own mind. I want to talk to my mom, nd I often tell her everything, but I'm afraid that recently I've been complaining a lot and she feels I'm miserable here in Canada when that's not necessarily true. Even so you're right, I should speak to her honestly about how hard a time I'm having. I've become very skittish about other people's feelings due to my roommate, I've never kept anything from my mom though, it makes no sense to be afraid of what she might think of me now.

Thank you for your answers. It helps to just feel you're being heard, which I feel isn't happening at all for me at the moment.

starbuck8

Hey there! No thanks necessary, but you're very welcome!! I'm kind of like you in a way. I hate to ask for help sometimes too, because I feel like I'm imposing. It makes me feel good...although sometimes stressed out...to help other people with theirs. I guess it takes my mind off of my own, if you know what I mean!

I think you need to cut yourself some slack and try little by little, asking people for help in return! You have an awful lot going on, and being away from home doesn't help matters either.

GOOD LUCK to you with your next "crit" and the rest of your school work!!

Hang tough girl!!

tkoernke

anytime you need someone to talk to ,you can call on me,Your friend anytime . By the way my name is Tammy. Hope you have a great day!!!

fubby

: (: (: (

You do have an awful lot of stuff going on...but it doesn't all have to be on your mind at the one time, I hope you realize that! You're worrying about your friends so much, yet you don't want to burden them with worrying about YOU! I'm sure they're trying to take care of themselves just like you are, don't get too distressed over their situations...i'm sure they would want to tell you they'll be okay.
Easier said than done, I know.

Man, being pressured with regards to deadlines and stuff, yeah that is the kind of thing that really gets to me, so if I were in your situation I wouldn't be fairing very well...
just know it's not you, it's just your unfortunate situation and it will have to pass : )

I'm sorry you're feeling distant from your mom! Scary feeling, and I don't know the situation but I know when I get far away from someone and totally closed off from my old life, (especially with all those demands) it is really disorienting to try and remember how relationships with people were. I would think and hope it's just your chaotic situation right now, maybe if you were with your mother right now you would feel back to normal in no time..

good luck with stuff my dear!
let yourself cry, cuddle up in blankets, and curse anybody who adds to your stress!
haha, you're allowed to be irritable.
maybe try and stay away from people when they irritate you.
Be good to yourself while waiting for this period to calm down.
Be comfy, and if you find your thoughts jumbling together - deep breaths!

Okay good luck! : D