I am a mother of 2 and moved from another country to USA almost a year ago. I'm really struggling. This is my husbands home-territory, but even he is struggling too.
I am working full-time, but I can't seem to get into the groove of my new job, and I make constant small mistakes, which a co-worker is on my back about all the time, which seems to just make it worse, because I am stressing so much about making mistakes that I make more!
I feel like it's just a constant struggle. I am always being told to be grateful for what we have, and I do know we are lucky - 2 healthy, beautiful children, a loving husband, and a full-time job that pays okay and is in an air-conditioned office.
But I just feel up to my neck in negativity, I can't even feel gratitude for what I have. We live with relatives, and as kind as that is, it is a huge struggle at times. We are trying to save for a place of our own, but it seems impossible. We have talked about moving back, but that is like quitting, and would it really be any better than where we are now?
I really don't have any friends (other than email/internet contact with friends from 'home'). I have no time to do anything besides working, caring for my kids and housework. It is just a grind, a constant grind. I hate whining about it, but I am starting to think I might have depression. The situation at work is affecting my self-esteem too. I considered saying something to the co-worker, but I'm scared it will make things worse instead of better, and although I'm looking for a new job there is nothing out there.
I feel so trapped and lonely and crazy! Anyone got advice?
Thank you, there is no sexual harassment, and I don't believe it is racial either.
I will think about how to confront my co-worker.
Thanks for all the ideas and input! I found the Byron Katie link very interesting.
If you think through how you would be most comfortable and effective setting a boundary with your co-worker, you can test it here with this forum before you go ahead with it. You will be so relieved once you have addressed this issue!
Once you do that, you can work on improving both your job performance (or getting another job) and your energy/internal atmosphere. As these improve, you will be able to think about how to make yourself more valuable to an employer. More valuable = more money.
Meanwhile, give yourself rest whenever you can. Don't drain your energy with anything negative. Take a moment here and there and just breathe, relax, and love yourself and your family.
Live as if you were living a second time, and as though you had acted wrongly the first time. -Viktor Frankl (1905-1997)
Ok. Now that I know I read it right the first time, I go back to my previous advice. tao is right, you can practice here if you feel the need to. I think getting the issue resolved will lift a lot of the weight off of your shoulders.
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