i feel rediculously uncomfortable around people... like awkward.
whenever im in a social situation... whether it be around friends or family... i never know what to say. its like my mind is always blank. sometimes i even find it hard to talk ... and when i do talk people never hear me. i always have to repeat myself all the time.
i read out loud... watch tv (not particularily the news) and practice talking to myself quite often. i do have a hard time projecting my voice. it's so irritating when i say something and no body listens... i know they're not deliberately ignoring me. they just don't hear me. i never thought of joining a drama group... toast masters.. or a chior... i dont have much interest in doing so. i try to be as socially active as i can. i just find two things automatically happen to me in social situations. 1. i start feeling awkward to the point where i cant even concentrate properly. 2. i blank out and never know what to say. it's difficult to explain, but i appreciate your advice. thanks a lot!
when im with friends ill get a few words in at the start of the conversation, and then the blank mind will set in and before long ill be forgotten. everyone else will be having a great time chatting and laughing and ill be sitting there with a blank expression on my face feeling stupid and awkward. it's a very lonely feeling... its like your totally insignificant. usually i just make an excuse to call it a night... then i have to put up with everyone saying "aw why are you leaving?" lol... if they knew how much i suffered they'd know why i just get up and leave.
"aw why are you leaving?" lol... if they knew how much i suffered they'd know why i just get up and leave.
I'm guessing you are your own worst critic. I'm also guessing you aren't as invisible and as unsocial as you think you are.
Ask your mom or, better yet, a good friend for feedback on how you are when you are together with your friends. Remember, not everyone can be a loudmouth and boisterous and full of conversation. There also have to be listeners, an audience for those others.
im 23 and i was never consciously aware of the invisible thing and the blank mind until i became socially anxious. before then i found it easy to interact and socialize with close friends. i felt for the most part that we were all fairly like minded. i can go back to many fun times we had as a group. when i became aware of my social anxiety, i began to isolate myself from my friends more because i felt to anxious and awkward to be around them. thats when i lost connection with a lot of them. a few of them still get around with me once in awhile but our friendship is definitely not as close as it use to be.
im 23... and to add... i dont feel like minded with my friends anymore... whereas before the social anxiety... i felt very connected.
wondergirl... everyone around me never notices how unsocial i am. thats why they never understand why i want to get up and leave. you see.. people are self focused for the most part. when they're all talking and laughing and having a good time they fail to notice anyone whose not having that great of a time. in other words they're enjoying themselves too much to even notice. asking my parents what they think would be a total waste of time because they dont understand.
Sometimes I feel really awkward even around people I know well,I wonder what should I say. It sounds too easy but don't worry about having to say something just to speak. Just relax and when an idea pops in your mouth speak. I am more outgoing now,still shy,I went out a few weeks ago for example,I was talking a lot. People kept on saying what did you say,it's just noticing it and speaking louder. If by next year this is no longer an issue,your gonna look back and say why did I make this feel like such a issue.
I use to be awkward around strangers but not my friends at one point. I was always shy around girls to an extreme then I realized who cares why am I stressing sh*t so much. It's ok to be a quiet person but over thinking is gonna drive you insane. I have a friend like that and he feels so awkward then says stupid things. At 1st everyone just thought ok Bob is nice but quiet then he said the wrong thing,people thought he is odd or a creep.
More or less,try not to worry about always having to say something. It helps keeping in touch with people even if it's just calling once a week,even a month to check in and say what's up. A lot of it is your mindset. Just keep in your head ok I am not gonna worry about feeling so weird around these people. Once your relaxed stuff just follows. It's easier to take it a little at a time,it's easier with friends then new people. That why it's good to at least have a phone convo with old friends so you don't become distant with them. Maybe talking to a therapist can help.
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