i feel rediculously uncomfortable around people... like awkward.
whenever im in a social situation... whether it be around friends or family... i never know what to say. its like my mind is always blank. sometimes i even find it hard to talk ... and when i do talk people never hear me. i always have to repeat myself all the time.
rainacidbeer, great advice... i know its not always necessary to speak. sometimes its ok to just sit back and listen. the only problem is, when i feel awkward and blank minded, with it comes a lack of concentration. that being said, i find it hard to listen intently to what other people are saying, and i normally never know what to respond with. i just nod my head or go "or really?" or "yea, i hear ya" ... but im never able to add to the conversation dynamically. it's always just small talk. i dont beat mysef up over it but it makes me feel so stupid... i leave feeling like i could have been a lot more outgoing and communicative. i dont think its the lack of talking that bothers me so much... its the idea that i cant think of anything to talk about even if i wanted to talk. feeling blank minded not just sometimes but ALL THE TIME gets very irritating. when i go out i strive for a good time. i love going out to socialize and relax. its one of my favorite things to do in life, but when i cant think of anything at all to talk about, it makes the atmosphere dry and uncomfortable. this has been going on for almost three years now to my knowledge. im desperately hoping its just a faze im going through and that it will pass eventually.
I thought I was alone. I feel the same way. I feel awkward with just about anyone accept my immediate family, so I often try to avoid people now. When I try to have normal conversation, whether over the phone or in person, my mind goes blank.
when im with friends ill get a few words in at the start of the conversation, and then the blank mind will set in and before long ill be forgotten. everyone else will be having a great time chatting and laughing and ill be sitting there with a blank expression on my face feeling stupid and awkward. it's a very lonely feeling... its like your totally insignificant. usually i just make an excuse to call it a night... then i have to put up with everyone saying "aw why are you leaving?" lol... if they knew how much i suffered they'd know why i just get up and leave.
You should focus on listening and following the conversation, to begin with. You don't have to talk. You can "participate" by listening. A good listener is equally engrossed, as much the ones who talk. Also when you are actively listening you are being yourself, and others know you are active in your own way. And its perfectly OK to listen for long hours. So there is no need to feel awkward.
Read, watch TV, and listen well when in company of others. Enjoy them talking. Be with this attitude.
Slowly, as you master being a good listener, and being attentive, you will start to add words in the conversation. It will come naturally.
nothingisright...I know exactly what you feel. I have social anxiety as well, it was so bad at one point that if i knew that me and my fiance were going to one of his friends houses' together i would freak out, even cry. it was so unfair to him. like people say, reading, practicing in the mirror, don't worry about having to say something, yeah they all seem like they would help, but when you get in that very moment, none of that matters. Anyways I have gone to my doctor since then and he perscribed me with Paxil CR, an anti-anxiety medication, and I am such a different person. The anxiety is still there but at a much much much lower level. I started out at the lowest dosage and am now on the highest dosage they have, and it really works.
The only downside to paxil CR, is if you forget to take it for a few days you get 'withdrawls' from it, feelings like heart palpitations and dizziness. But if you take it regularly its worth it, I promise.
I really feel for you, this can be really crippling.
From what I read this started about 3 years ago, and I'm wondering if there was anything that you've thought about that could have been a trigger, or a cause, or did it just come out of the blue.
I realize that it is in social situations where you are most affected, but what about the work place, or school, or walking through a crowded mall. How do you manage this when you have to talk, or you're put on the spot, but ouside a social environment.
I guess what I'm really wondering is, is your entire life affected by this, and you find yourself withdrawing from socializing at all, either in a general sense or a specific sense.
The invisible part implies no sense of self to your surroundings, at least to me. The blanking it all out, implies taking yourself out of reality, even if temporary and self induced, again just my observation. Have these feelings put you in a place more and more?
Can you offer any insights to this being situational in nature? Or not?
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