To be frank, I'm the type of guy who was picked on and looked down on by everyone in high school. I'm pretty shy at times but not always. I can carry a conversation easily and people have admitted I'm easy to approach. However, I'm probably too trusting. My cousin saw this in me and took advantage of my trust. My father was rather abrasive to me while growing up and my mother isn't the most emotionally reliable person. My sister doesn't really respect me. I'm so fed up with her yelling at me or playing "tricks" on me that I just don't talk to her anymore. I don't have a ton of friends but I have a pretty good few that I really trust and treat me with respect.

I decided to post on this website because I realized I have a consistent pattern of becoming very emotionally needy in my head when dating girls. I don't act needy during a date... but I get impatient during the offtimes between dates. I know this is probably something to do with me not having a strong foundation.

I've struggled to make myself a better person. I've gotten active in hobbies, taken up some classes, and I'm taking on some new work that I'm proud of. However, the feeling of anger and low self-value keeps creeping up on me. I feel that writing this down and sharing is the first step in helping myself. I just don't know what to do after that.

I'm sorry to hear about your past. Its always unfortunate when someone abuses the kindness of another person.

The best place for you to start is to really look at your behavior. Why do you become so needy? What scares you? What makes you anxious in a relationship?

Self value and self esteem without a doubt play a role. You need to do things that make you feel good about yourself as that will help boost yourself esteem. You may even consider have a session or two with a counselor to help get a lot of this sorted out.

Hi frank. My boyfriend is like that he acts like he doesn't care in a way. Not exactly that but like he can do just fine with out me. I have 1 friend and I don't like her. I could have more friends but choose not to because I don't like the people that I could be friends with. Is your sister younger than you? I have a younger nephew always at my house that I can NOT stand and ever since he's been around iv'e been really angry at everyone.

You sound like me. Looked down on at school, especially high school, sister who at times treats me with no respect or used to play tricks also at me. Basically taking advantage of me. I'm extremely shy most of the time, and sometimes too kind or considerate or maybe at times weak of heart and that leads to being taken advantage of. My mother also isn't the kind that I can rely on emotionally either.
But I think that a reason why you might feel like that might be because not receiving the love you needed to grow surrounded by, perhaps has starved your soul of affection or love or those sort of things. Perhaps the need to be appreciated more.
You have to appreciate yourself, so I agree that doing something for yourself, that is meant to make you feel good about you, and not only to prove to others anything, is very good.
Through my experience, I've learned that I shouldn't have any resentment toward others who've done me wrong, nor at life, and especially not myself. The self is the main person that you should have respect for, and love, and aceptance. Whatever happened to you is probably not your fault.
I difference to you, I actually have trouble trusting (without counting the possible internet fraud that I almost fell for), but I think trust is an asset at times, yet too much trust can sometimes lead you to trouble, like you already know.
You're doing excellent by trying to help yourself because that's an important first step you must take. First of all recognizing that you need help also is important. As far as your dating goes, unless you feel an emotion for whom you're seeing, you don't need someone else to really fulfill you. You should find that in yourself and your accomplishments.
Personally I have found that God has helped me a lot in going through my struggles. Yet I'm still working on many of my personal issues, but there's been progress.
You probably should see a counselor anyhow or talk about this to someone who you think that is truly trustworthy. I hope you can get through your problems.

I'm scared to death of school. And I'm very sad during the whole school year. Then when summer comes I can't be sad even if I try. I'm very shy also and won't talk to people unless they talk to me. Even then I'm still afraid. Your not the only one. The reason why I don't want to be friends with people and I always tell them when they ask why I never talk: "i only talk to the people i wanna talk to" is because I find something in everyone that I don't like. They're too "preppy, skanky, do drugs, only talk about those things I just said or they are friends with people I don't like. I don't like anything once I find out someone I don't like likes it. But I no it seems as if you talk a lot more people will want to talk to you more. I don't want to talk to the people at my school though so I don't. I would never be friends with them because I just don't like them for some reason.

I feel like I might not have understood your post correctly. If so, let me know.

oh no you gave me some valuable input. It's good to hear from someone who can help relate and understand.

I have a best friend who is really good about being supportive. He knows I'm struggling with myself esteem and thinks so far I've taken the right direction in the things I've been taking up. I appreciate your honesty and I'm just wondering what are some other good ideas one can do to raise themselves value.

I'm not here to joke I want to help you. But did you get what I said about frank? I'm just trying to get you to laugh you sound like you may be going through something really tough right now and I've been there many of times so I know what its like. I have a lot of the same problems and everyone tells me that I have low self esteem and all kinds of stuff and I never listen to what they say even though I know that I should. All I'm saying is that if you just try talking a little more and don't be as shy it can diffenetly make an improvement.

Oh no I didn't mistake your frank joke. I laughed at my computer when I read your responses haha. But you were right in knowing that going through a lot of crazy thoughts on your mind can mess you up. I take your idea to talk more as great advice.

Just try not to let things get to you. I know it can be hard and I cry over things that another part of me could just not care about. But I choose to get all upset over it and it causes me to fail in school and everything.

And honestly I think even those louder, talkitive happy looking people you may see at school probably have a lot of problems in their life too. They might and just hide it. I have an older sister who I really don't like because she's in her 20's and she doesn't have a job and she is too lazy to take care of her kid so she brings him to our house all the time and I get so annoyed by him. And my parents bought her a house, take care of her kid and do all this stuff for her and sccording to her no one ever helpd her with anything.

"You need to talk more" is a piece of advice I've heard my whole life, but either I didn't listen to it, or mission impossible.
No seriously, I'm trying to work on that.

Here's something I end up asking myself when in crisis of insecurity. Why would I not be worth it? I'm a person, I'm not a crook, I don't steal or cheat, nor am I a criminal, nor do I hate anyone. Why should I not feel good about myself if or when I do something right? Humans make mistakes, I'm a human. Why should anyone judge me? They're not God.

Me too. And I normally don't take peoples advice and it makes me mad when they tell me what I need to do when I already know I need to do it. And sometimes there's things I want to say but I'm afraid to. I know no ones going to care about it, no ones going to think anything about it but I'm still afraid to

Maybe you should take your own advice: just don't let things get to you kt1205. If you want to say something, say it and don't let your fear get to you. OK and I'm not trying to tell you what to do so don't let this get to you. Oops I did it again.

Yeah this forum is helping me feel better. I don't know why I let other people get to me I guess. Sometimes the words others have can really make a person feel one way or another. Having one's own self confidence can take a lot of work.

I've let others have too much control over me and let them put me down or take advantage of me. I didn't realize how bad it wsa till 2 years ago... I just ended up hating my life and maybe feel bitter at times.

Its sometimes easy to confuse being a nice with acting like a doormat. All it takes is saying no once and putting your foot down once and Oh Baby does that feel good. As a teen I always nice to everyone and very trusting and well it bit me in the butt on a few occasions. I didn't want people to think badly of me but then I read an article that said when you say no to other people you are saying yes to yourself. If you don't want to do something and say yes you will make you feel miserable say no once that initial guilt subsides no feels really good.

Everything is in your power to change. Just grab back some of your power in life. No one has a right to dictate to you how to live your life or what you must do. You are the Captain of your own destiny misterk.

Letting someone's words put you down, might mean that you're giving too much importance to someone who doesn't deserve it. Only you know yourself well, or at least better than that person knows you. Personally, I used to not even know who I was or what I wanted, but I've started to try figuring it out.
Ever heard of "everything happens for a reason?" Well it's true. There's a reason for your existence and there's a reason for what goes on in your life. Think that all of this can make you stronger, so being bitter about it is actually making you weak to the circumstances.
I wish I could help you more, but I think you already have an idea of what you need to do, given you've already stated it. Confidence and being true to yourself is another very important thing. Until you can get out of this vicious cycle, forget about the others, think about yourself as if you're the only important person in your life, everyone else is on the second plain.