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Jrperine · Jul 30, 2011, 10:20 AM

I would like to know if I can sue my dad. He left before I was born, and never paid child support. We lived a hard life, hard enough to make my mother commit suicide. I was wondering if there is any legal action I can take. I am not a horrible person, I just want to do this for my mother.

Alty · Jul 30, 2011, 10:26 AM

How old are you?

Where do you live (State, Country)

Was it ever established that he's your biological dad? Was child support ever established? Did your mom go to court in order to get child support from him, and he just didn't pay?

There are a lot of questions that need to be answered first. Since you didn't post this in the legal board, it's unlikely that you'll get a lot of legal advice.

This is the mental health forum, so I have to ask. How will suing your father do anything for your mother? She's no longer around to reap the rewards of child support. This would be for one person only. You.

Not that that makes you a horrible person, I just hope you aren't justifying this by saying that you're doing it for your mother. At this point it won't do her any good. If it really meant something to her, she could have gone after him for support while she was still alive.

twinkiedooter · Jul 30, 2011, 10:27 AM

/you cannot sue your father but if you are under age 18 and there has been a child support order signed by a judge in your mother's divorce or child support hearing SHE can sue him for the non payment of child support. If no order was ever entered your mother cannot sue for this back support.

Alty · Jul 30, 2011, 10:34 AM

Originally Posted by twinkiedooter

/you cannot sue your father but if you are under age 18 and there has been a child support order signed by a judge in your mother's divorce or child support hearing SHE can sue him for the non payment of child support. If no order was ever entered your mother cannot sue for this back support.

The mother is deceased Twinkie.

If there was a child support order in place, but the mother is now deceased, can the child then sue?

Jrperine · Jul 30, 2011, 10:36 AM

I never knew why she didn't sue him, heart-break maybe. I know she was never mentaly healthy, and spent most her life alone. I am just looking for justice wear ever I can. Its not even about the money, its about what can I do. And affording head stone has nothing to do with me.

phillysteakandcheese · Jul 30, 2011, 11:43 AM

If it's about what you can do, then how about working to make yourself into a better person?

I'm sorry you got a bad deal with the start to your life. It's natural to want revenge... You want to make your Dad pay for all the things he should have done for you and your Mom. If only he'd stepped up and been a man, you could have been a family, and then everything would have been okay... Right?

You will be far better off looking towards your future than trying to extract revenge for your past. You can be angry and play all the "what if", "should h ave" and "if only" games you want about it, but none of that will make your future a better one.

Accept your past - Think of how it has prepared you to excel in the fantastic life you have ahead of you.

Your Dad probably already knows how he's messed up in life, and that will haunt him for the rest of his life. Don't let his mistakes haunt the rest of your life too.

ScottGem · Jul 30, 2011, 02:24 PM

Since you posted this in a non legal forum, members can answer from the point of your mental and emotional health.

But lets first deal with the legal. You have no grounds to sue your father. Being a bad parent is, unfortunately not illegal in most places. The law is not always about justice. That doesn't mean you can't file a suit, but it means that any suit is likely to be dismissed as without grounds.

The only possible grounds I see is that he drive your mother to suicide. And that would be extremely hard to prove. The likelihood is that your mother was ill from the beginning. It could, in fact, be the reason he left.

But, the real issue here, In my opinion, is that you need someone to blame for what your mother did and for what you lacked growing up. What you really need is a professional therapists to help you deal with those feelings.

Fr_Chuck · Jul 30, 2011, 02:59 PM

First no bad choices made your early life bad, your dad leaving was just one of them, That happens to 1000's of families each year ( most likely 100's of thousands)

And while this caused stress on your mom, most likely it was a mental illness that caused her to kill herself. Nothing that you dad did or did not do directly.

I don't remember you stating your age but what ever that age it is time to get past this and stop wanting revenge or to get even ( but I still think it is about money) but with that it is time to get counseling, start moving on with your life.