[pjmouse]

I need serious advice, please. I have a very dear nephew, 27 years old, who has had a difficult life. Just before he turned 16, his older brother committed suicide at Christmas time. The whole family fell apart, his immediate family most of all. His father gave up on life, abusing alcohol and prescription drugs. His mother became hyper-religious. And turns everything over to God. They basically gave up parenting my nephew, and eventually divorced.

My nephew is a sweet, intelligent caring person, but he has been drifting, on his own and has not been able to make the transition from child to adult. He got into drugs and drinking, lost his driver's license and the last few years he has been living here and there, going from one menial job to another. A year ago, he quit partying and got a good job, it looked like he was finally finding his way.

But last February his father was hospitalized (I've lost count of how many times he has been in the last 10 years) after falling while intoxicated and breaking his shoulder. Shortly after, my nephew quit his job and cut off contact with me.

On May 6th, he had what a doctor called a psychotic break. He hadn't eaten or slept in at least 4 days. He trashed his father's apartment (where he was staying while his father was in the VA hospital), called his mother and threatened her and his younger brother, walked over 10 miles to her house, broke in, threatened them, was violent and threw a chair through a door wall.

Somehow he ended up in the local hospital (we live in a small town) and then in a mental health facility a couple hundred miles from here for a week or so.

My information is sketchy, my sister and former brother-in-law and I are in touch, but not real close anymore and they don't talk a whole lot about their family issues. From what they did tell, after bing released from the hospital, my nephew was staying with friends, was on medication, attending some kind of group sessions and was under the care (?) of the local Dept. of Mental Health. My sister said she could not get any information because my nephew is an adult.

A week ago, she told me that my nephew had been arrested for vagrancy, he had been asking people to give him their car keys, he was released OR. Yesterday, she called to ask if he had contacted me, that he had been arrested again for B & E and MDOP. He was calling around looking for someone to post bail.

Too late to make this short, but today he did call me. It was heart-breaking. I had to tell him that I could not co-sign for his release. The behavior I've related is so completely different than what I know of him that I could not be sure he would show up for court and although the amount to get him out was small, the amount I would have to pay if he didn't show was several thousand dollars.

But, I can not just leave him there. His mother and father have no intention of doing anything on his behalf. I could tell from talking to him that something is very wrong and he is scared to death that he is losing his mind. I asked him what medication he was on and he said it was Trilophon, an anti-psychotic.

I promised him that he was not in this alone, that I would do whatever I could to help, but I don't know where to start! He said that tomorrow they are taking him from the jail here to a mental hospital in another town. I did manage to get the money to get him out, but I didn't tell him that yet. I have to admit that I am apprehensive about bringing him home to my house in the state he is in when I have no idea what is going on or what to do to help him. I also thought I could maybe use the ability to get him out of jail as leverage to get him to give me authority to get any pertinent information on his condition so that I can help.

My heart-felt thanks to anyone who has read this whole thing and has any advice to offer!!

[J_9]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Mental illness can be harder on the family than the patient sometimes.

The medication he is taking, Trilafon, and it is used primarily for schizophrenia.

It would be in your nephew's best interest if you do not bond him out of jail and let him get the professional mental health care that he so desperately needs. YOu can ask him to sign a medical release so that his info can be shared with you, but don't expect it.

Good luck to you and your nephew.

[pjmouse]

I am so sorry you are going through this. Mental illness can be harder on the family than the patient sometimes.

The medication he is taking, Trilafon, and it is used primarily for schizophrenia.

It would be in your nephew's best interest if you do not bond him out of jail and let him get the professional mental health care that he so desperately needs. YOu can ask him to sign a medical release so that his info can be shared with you, but don't expect it.

Good luck to you and your nephew.

Thank you for your response. I wish I knew how to use this site, but my question is this... do you really think the mental health care he needs is available through the jail system? I'm not wanting help him escape the consequences of actions he made in his right mind, but if he has a serious mental illness, it seems so cold to leave him to the dubious care of strangers. This young man has not had the luxury of a soft place to fall or unconditional love in years, if ever. I thought there may be a benefit to going into care from loving arms rather than handcuffs.

[J_9]

You are using the site very well. Most likely what is going on with your nephew is that they are sending him for a pshycological evaluation to determine if he is of sound mind to withstand trial.

Also understand that the actions he did make were probably not of a sound mind. He may have committed these actions while in a state of psychosis.

It may sound cold to leave him in the care of strangers, but these strangers are qualified to deal with serious mental illness and help him on his path to recovery.

I understand your need to care for him. However, he deserves a proper diagnosis by a professional and he needs to be watched on his medication to see if it is the right one for him. I know you love and care for him, but mental illness is something that needs to be treated by the ones trained to deal with it.

Again, if it is schizophrenia, you are not traied to deal with the seriousness of the illness.

I implore you to let him get the help he so needs. Outpatient treatment rarely works with schizophrenia in the beginning. He must get his meds in order as the first med tried rarely works.

I will keep you in my thoughts. And, please, keep us posted with updates.