What do you consider yourself to be?

What do you consider others in general?

Which is worse?

valinors_sorrow

I am sensitive... it was hard to handle at first. I took many many hits over it too. My ovebearing, aggressively mean, dysfunctional dad would always say "You're too sensitive blah blah blah" followed by that old thing about "if you cry, I'll give you something to really cry over".

I was listening to Jethro Tull alot in those days (this will date me, ha ha!). So one day when I was caught again in one of those conversations I suggested to him that perhaps it really wasn't a case of my being overly sensitive as much as his being "thick as a brick".

For once he was speechless and never called me that again.

I believe sensitive is better but it has taken me many many efforts to learn how to handle it. Culturally we are thoughtlessly teaching people to deny it and not how to handle their sensitivity. I do what I can here at AMHD though. I am not any less sensitive today as I ever was dispite how many advised that I become less sensitive. My response to that today is "Hell no!" But I am more able to self protect and handle what hits I do take.

As for others I think like an old dial soap commercial...
"You use Dial....don't you wish everyone did!"

Its undeniable to me that the world would be a better place is others were more sensitve too. But its gonna take better lessons on how to handle it! There is a book out on it called "Emotional Intelligence - Why It Can Matter More Than IQ" but more needs to be written too.

Clearly a favourite topic for me... THANK YOU for a great post.

shunned

One of my supervisors of days gone by told me after I was talked down to by someone else for no reason other than to make themselves feel good, that I was "too sensitive". I replied "Better than being insensitive".

aqua@home

I too think I am sensitive. Actually, I know I am. I was told by someone that I have the gift of discernment. I thought to be a great quality. I think you have to be sensitive to be able to put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to relate to them.

It's funny how you ask which one is better. My husband and I are complete opposites in this matter. This can cause troubles. I don't think being "think as a brick" (thank you for that) benefits anyone. I think it closes you off emotionally from so many opportunities. Opportunities to share your life with people you might learn something from. I guess if you are that thick skinned you probably don't care.

I try to teach our children to be sensitive to other's feelings and opinions. They don't always have to agree but they should be aware of how they affect others. My children in turn of course think everyone else is thinking of them too and sometimes take things the wrong way. They should also be aware of themselves. I think if you are aware of who you are, you can offer more to others. This will allow you to act according to you and your beliefs much more easily if given a chance. I don't want my children to be self-centered.

I guess it's not good to be overly sensitive. Who really is the judge though. To one, something is worth getting worked up over and to another, not so much.

This is a very interesting question shunned.

valinors_sorrow

The classic one I like is "Don't take this personal".... LOL. I got news for everyone on the planet: It's all personal... because we are all people! The funny thing I notice is that its usually said just before someone really hurts you. Lately I've taken to answering back: "Okay, so when I carelessly devastate you, don't be upset either, deal?"

There is telling the truth (which should be taken personal, btw otherwise its fairly worthless) and there is being brutally honest. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know the difference.

PS - I think we've made it close to impossible for the insensitive to check in here and tell us how wonderful their lives are giving only a tse tse fly's teaspoon of care about others feelings. LOL.

aqua@home

LOL...so true Val. I also like the one where they say "don't let your feelings get in the way". I am a feeling person.

As for the brutally honest people, what about being honest but still using tact? My sister-in-law is great for that. Is there any wonder she has no friends.

I think to go back to shunned question of which one do you think most people are, I would have to say...somewhere in the middle. I meet so many different people that until you really get to know them you don't actually know. In the beginning, I think most people come across as insensitive in the beginning. Most people have their guard up. No one wants to be taken advantage of or whatever.

I agree Val, the insensitive may have a hard time here, but I would love to hear their views.

Jesushelper76

I am sensitive.

Many others I find insensitive.

I would rather be sensitive then insensitive.

If others do not like it, what can we do. They are to insensitive to understand it and do not feel comfortable around people who are.

That is the jist of it.

Joe

fredg

Hi,
I try my best to be sensitive to others needs and to other people I meet, face to face.
Insensitivity is the worst!!!
"Not giving a xxxx" about anything or anyone really shows bad attitudes and bad character; results? Someone who finds others don't even want to be around them, but most of the time, they don't care.
Being sensitive means to listen, sympathize with others, and offer helpful suggestions when asked.
Even if one just listens, lets another "pour out" their feelings, it helps them to talk about it. I really get a good feeling when I've listened to someone else, and try to help. That's what friends are for. That's what the human race should be for; but unfortunately, not all agree.
Best wishes.

Stormy69

I'm an insensitive biotch.. Or so I've been told :S

orange

I'm think I'm generally a sensitive person, and so is my husband, but we both have our limits. I have certain personal "boundaries" which, if people deliberately cross, I stop being sensitive pretty quickly. I guess what I mean is, I am sensitive to others and their needs, but as soon as I feel taken advantage of at all, I will defend myself and/or back off, become unavailable, etc.

Both of us need to work on being too sensitive and too helpful, actually. I seem to be the strong, stable friend all the time, but it's to the point where sometimes my friends rely on me too much. My husband is very sensitive with his patients, but he's still learning to "let go" of them. If a patient is suicidal or otherwise in trouble, my husband worries so much that he practically makes himself sick. My father is the same way. He actually had to quit his private psychiatry practice because he cared TOO much for his patients.

I think being sensitive is better than being insensitive, but there should be a balance between being sensitive and taking care of your own needs at the same time. You need to be sensitive to yourself as well.