I am divorced recently after seperating from my ex for 2 years. I have a 6 year old son. Though seperated, i see him regularly. I am thinking of marrying my girlfriend who i know via online (but visited eachother later) who is in overseas.

My ex says for the sake of my son, not to visit him after my marriage, even suggesting me to move out of city or country. She says he want stability and my visits will not going to regular. She is going to say him I went abroad for work and will manage.

I am very depressed of leaving him like this and i do not want to pick quarrel with ex as she is the one going to take care of him (though i wish i could have him with me).

Though as much i love my girlfriend, i do not want to get my son affected on this. Because with that thought i am not going to be happy and our lives can get affected. I think sometime stop this relation and just continue what i am doing now (visting him often while living seperated).

Any thoughts?.

Thanks

southerngalps

as long as your girl that you are interested is a good person and cares for the welfare of your son, i see no problem with you continuing on this relationship. what...are you going to be alone for the rest of your life because your x says your son needs more stability? does she plan on being alone for the rest of her life, because if that is what you have to do then she should do the same, that is just being a hypocrit. it sounds like she is just controlling the situation. she really doesn't have a right to tell you that you should move out of the country either. you sound like a decent person and father. i hate situations like this when women think that they are the higher power when it comes to having a child together. what makes her think that your son will not like this other woman? from the way it sounds, she or he has not even met her. you should talk this over with her some more. ask her what her plans are for the rest of her life when it comes to a relationship.

Altenweg

How well do you know this girl, you say you've met and talked on line, but do you really know her?

I think your wifes concerns are legitimate, the new girl could be a good person, but do you really know?

Your son comes first, and his health and welfare should be your main concern. Get to know the overseas girl better, and then decide your future.

Good luck.

Fr_Chuck

you should tell your ex to take a flying leap and maybe the child should live with you and she move away, She is being selfish and sounds jealous of your new relationship.

Make sure your visits are court ordered, when you get married, he meets your new wife, his new step mom and he learns he has two loving families.

Altenweg

Fr_Chuck, I do agree, but I just wonder how well he really knows the new girlfriend.

If my hubby and I got divorced and he found someone new, I'd want to meet her before she became involved in my children's lives. He hardly knows her, talking on line and actually knowing eachother face to face are very different. That's my concern.

If he knows her well then by all means, he has a right to live his life and move on, and to have his son be a part of his life. But how well does he know her?

Just being overly cautious, sorry.

southerngalps

very true. as this is the case...if he really wants to be with this girl, he has to take more steps before letting her in his and son's life. the x probably shouldn't have made such a bold statement as he should move out of the country. mothers have a right to be concerned, but can't be controlliing.

Choux

My opinion is that your son comes first; abandoning him, for whatever reason, is likely to damage him *permanently*.

Find a woman who will live nearby so you can have great relationship with your son.