A few days ago I had quite a major relapse of my PTSD symptoms. It was triggered by recent family events, especially something that happened this past Sunday. I know I'm being vague, but I'm not ready to talk about it right now. Those of you who know my family situation probably have an idea of what I'm referring to...
I feel better than I did on Sunday, but it's still quite difficult. I am not sleeping well, I'm spacing out a lot of the time, old nightmares have returned and I'm startling easily. At the same time, I have children to take care of, so there's not much opportunity to rest, reflect, etc.
I did make an appointment to see my old therapist for a couple of sessions, so I will be seeing her shortly. I'm interested in any other suggestions people may have for me. I know a lot of the techniques for dealing with triggers, but I've never had to use them while taking care of kids.
After what you've been thru no wonder you haven't busted by now. I would have. I suspect you have trust issues as I know your waiting for a nanny to join the family, and probably need some time to digest the ever changing things going on in your life. I think you need time for yourself to relax and let things soak in as you have been thru a lot and have a lot of responsibility. In caring for everyone else's needs don't forget your own.
Orange, I don't have any "suggestions" for you as I am completely inexperienced in this area. But I can offer this: My family will pray in earnest for you for the next week; praying and wishing for Peace for you - and that one of your other friends here will post something helpful.
Talaniman, thanks very much for your response. I'm sure you're right, I have been under a lot of stress and changes in the past few months, and then this "incident" on Sunday was like the last straw. Our nanny was supposed to be here this week, but she's ill with the flu. She should be here in a few days, and then the children will be starting school as well, so I should be able to have a bit of a break then. I could hire a sitter for a few hours right now, but I don't know anyone offhand who I think could handle the huge responsibility of 5 children and a baby. And I do have trust issues with that as well, as you say.
Rick, thanks very much for the prayers of your family. I used to never believe in prayer, being an agnostic, but the idea of prayer has kind of grown on me, haha. Especially since having the children and the baby I believe in it more. So I appreciate it very much!
Yes, grandparents are a possibility, talaniman. My husband and I have been discussing that, and talking to his parents. However, they live about 1500 miles from here, so they would have to fly out, or the kids would have to go them. I'd love to send the kids to them haha but they start school right away so that's not a good option. Also the grandparents were just here a couple of months back. But yes that is something we are considering.
Edit: I guess I should also add that they are probably coming out here in a couple of weeks anyway, because of what we found out on Sunday. Sigh. But it would be nice to have them now, definitely!
I mention grandparents because anytime my daughter gets tight with time she doesn't hesitate to call us. And of course she knows we never say NO, (she was spoiled by me). So you need a relaxing technique. Spend the evening outdoors after dinner with animals and children and when they go to bed a hot bath with two aspirin and I guarantee a good nights sleep. (of course hubby will make sure your not disturbed) After your aspirin a good foot massage after a hot bath will melt all the tenseness away.
Carve out as much You time as possible Chava. I know my only antidote to a ptsd blowout is solitude. Even retreating to bubble baths at night or naps in the afternoon when the other adults are home or trudging along with teeth clenched repeating "this too shall pass, this too shall pass, when in the @#%$@& shall this too pass!" until you can get some alone time. Meanwhile I send you my strength in gobs and gobs, brave girl!
Chava, my thoughts are with you as well. Although I do not know anything about PSTD and don't try to pretend that I do, I just hope you know that your online family is here for you.
You are indeed a very brave gal. I don't think I could handle as much as you have. You have way too much on your plate right now.
Definately heed the advice that Val gave you.... this too shall pass.
Take a bubble bath.... I know you don't believe in the kids watching too much TV, but put a movie on for them to watch, since you don't have a sitter right now, find one they all can watch while the baby takes a nap. All should be quiet then.
See your counselor, get on some meds temporarily if that will help you get through this.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Just remember again that we are here for you.
Chava, I don't know you that well, only from what I have read that you have posted on here, but I will be thinking of you! You are obviously under a lot of stress right now, and stress can do terrible things to the body. Please, take some time for yourself, even if it is after everyone is in bed...take a hot bath, get a massage, something! God Bless, and hang in there!
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