Okay so to start off, I'm bisexual (female) and not out of the closet. Three years ago, I met someone over the summer (also female). We became fast friends and really connected on a higher level, or at least I felt that way. So, basically I've barely stopped thinking about this person since (a couple times we ran into each other and we clicked right away again). I was finally starting to get over her (I have a boyfriend and we're really starting to get closer, it took awhile for me to let him in but I'm getting better) and then we became friends via facebook. I know it sounds stupid, but everytime I log on, I see this person's face and remember how awful I feel. I have some other family going on and I am consistantly depressed. I am in love with someone who isnt my boyfriend and who I seriously doubt would be intrested in me for anything more than friendship and my life is falling apart in other areas and I just don't know what to do. I need some sort of closure and I'm at a loss of how to get it.

shygrneyzs

How do you know this is love? If you do feel it is love, then go and try to see if she feels the same way. If she does not and merely wants to be friends, then at least you have an answer. Then you can go about the rest of your life. It could be you are not in love with her but in love with the feeling of being with her. Or in love with the attraction to her. There are different levels in love. Is it worth it, to you, to take the step forward and find out if this is real?

Can you talk to your boyfriend about this? He might surprise you and be very understanding. I do think it is possible to be attracted to both genders and to have meaningful relationships with both. You need to find out where you are at in all this.

If you already know that this girl is not going to feel the same way about you, then it might be wise to cut communication with her. It is too hard on you to see her on facebook, to talk to her. Why beat yourself up? Once you close that door, you cantruly begin to heal and regain your emotional health and well being. Just like if you were engaged to a guy and broke the engagement off and yet still dated him? Knowing that it was going nowhere? No way would you do that to yourself.

I don't know if this has helped you at all but hopefully has given you a different perspective. Truly wishing you the best, whichever way it turns out for you. Just try to think of what it means to be happy inside and that the happiness does not depend on another person. Take care.