Hi I have this problem. I'm quite the negative thinker which I'm trying my best to stop by redirecting negative thoughts to positive ones. But one thing that is very hard for me to stop worrying is how much friends one of my close buddies have compared to me. I have no friends because I really have trouble talking to people and having fun. I ususally just hang alone at the library surfing the internet when I could just go out and interacte with people that do like me but aren't as comfortable with me since they dont know me as much. I am the shy type so just going to a person is very hard. I always wish they would just come talk to me instead of me having to go to them. I do try but I stutter and go into panic attacks. I had this problem in high shcool and its sadly carrying on in University where I always thought would be a new start for me.

I need some advice please. I'd appreciate it thanks.

twinkiedooter

Dear Smith. Try going to the library and checking out a few books on self esteem for starters. Once you see you are a wonderful person you will start acting like a wonderful person. Then check out some books on how to get people to like you. Ask the librarian for some help here if you want to. You'd be surprised just how easy it is to talk to a complete stranger. You need to learn the fine art of small talk. It's relatively easy once you learn the knack.

talaniman

Start everyday by smiling at the guy in the mirror, and say I LOVE YOU, and have a good day. Do this everyday.

Choux

YOu have to learn to stop pitying yourself....no one wants to be around a person full of self pity.

Learn in depth about several subjects, that won't take very long....like a local sports team, national politics, aerobics, whatever you know about. These are your entres to being social with people.

Now you have something to talk about and be enthusiastic about when you are in a group of people, and you can get into some interesting discussions.

Don't be lazy....start working on yourself!!! Start enjoying yourself!!

smith1012

Okay thanks for the advice.

Also I have this one other problem. My friend says to get facebook but I'm worried I'll get embrassed once he sees my friends list. He might think I'm a loner when no one writes on my wall and the fact I have no one to write on their wall. A lot of people that know me have like 20 posts per day where I will for sure of nothing but one or two per week. It makes me think that there is no point of getting facebook because I wont be talking to no one. What should I do? And trust me its not easy for me to get facebook without people thinking how much of a loner I am.

KalFour

Hey Smith,
It's always hard to get out and meet people, and it's even harder when you don't have much practice. But it's worth the effort and definitely worth the risk.
If you start a conversation with a random stranger, the worst that can happen is that it doesn't progress. If that's the case, you won't have to talk to them again, so there'll be no need to be embarrassed in future.
I'm sure your friends like you for who you are, not for the number of other friends you have. I have a lot of friends on facebook, but the vast majority are people I see very rarely and don't consider very close. Don't worry too much about what people think.
Try speaking up more and just be yourself. People will like you for you, and if they don't they're not worth the effort.
If you want to say something to someone, say it and screw the consequences. Don't be apologetic or reticent about yourself. Just be you.

Take care,

Kal

George_1950

Look for campus clubs that interest you; could be a computer gaming club, book club, or faith group that shares concerns. Can you take courses offered by university that have groups, such as dance, table tennis, tennis, billiards?

smith1012

Well its hard for me to join clubs when I have problems approaching people

talaniman

Thats the problem, you let fear paralyze you into inaction. Put one foot in front of the other, and just do it. No buts', no excuses, Show some courage.

George_1950

There are many volunteer groups and organizations that need volunteers; what that means is, you will not be turned away! There are faith-based groups like Salvation Army and others, like Red Cross. Your local hospital would probably let you volunteer.