Ok - so I have a great boyfriend some really good friends, my DJing is going well, however I feel really lost. I feel like I have no direction in life and I am not satisfied with my life as it is.

I want want most girls want - to get married, have a house of my own and a family (one day) - but I really want to travel. I went to Australia for two months and vowed I would go back and atleast try to travel to New Zealand Canada & America as well. I would be saving to do this - but now I have Pete I cannot bear the thought of leaving him; I thought I would be happy to just go there for Holidays; but since my parents split up, getting a way is all I can think about; but I am torn with the idea because of my boyfriend.

I am not sure if I am just feeling this way because my parents have split up; and I am wanting to run from the problem or if it is something that I really want to do.

I don't want the boring mudain routine of life yet - I want to live & enjoy life; and be spontaneous - I am coming up 22yrs - so I am still young; am I being selfish? or just stupid?

fredg

Hi,
I can really, really relate to what you are saying.
Go for it!! Take those trips you want to take.
At 63 yrs old, there were many, many things I wanted to do when I was much younger, and didn't do them. Although I had the chances, just didn't take them.....wish I had now.
At 24, I was married for the first time. Soon were 2 children. Without money, traveling is not possible for most of us.
I wouldn't have missed my first marriage for anything, with 2 great children, but still wish I had "seen more of the world".
It goes without saying that "you are only young once"; so true. Before you know it, you will be married to a wonderful man, settling down, and if you don't have enough money, then traveling is out.
I don't see this as "running away", since you have been thinking about it before. If Pete can't go with you, then I'm sure he will understand you doing what will help you be happy. He sounds like a wonderful man!
Again, Do it now. Because later, it is usually more difficult to "follow one's dreams".

DJ 'H'

I know you are right. I am just not so sure I can leave Pete behind should he decide not to come with me.

mr.yet

Hi, when feeling down, search your soul and heart, set goals for yourself and try to live by them.

I like your new avatar!!!!

DJ 'H'

I know what I need to do but if Pete does not like the idea then I would be fearful of losing him if I went.

I don't mean losing him because of going, but because time apart would lead us down different paths. I would not want that.

Jesushelper76

You are right, that time apart could cause people to go down in different paths. Right now you two are just getting to know each other. If you want to travel some, and you let Pete know that you would love to travel to some places and would love him to travel with you. See what he says? I am sure he would love to do some travelling with you? You might not travel as much but it would be even better experiances if you did this together. If he is interested in getting to know you better and spend more time together going on trips together would be a great way to show you that he is interested in your dreams and love of travelling.

Like I said before communication is the key. The thing is I would not go on and on about it because then that will make him feel that maybe you are trying to get away.

Joe

orange

Please go traveling, have fun, whatever you want to do. You will really regret it if you don't! Once you're married, have kids, etc, you will have more obligations than you ever thought possible and your time will not be your own. Everything you do, you'll have to consult your spouse, consider what is best for the children, the finances... ad infinitum. I'm only 26 but I have had a really interesting life so far, done a lot of travelling, went to university, did many of the things I couldn't possibly manage once I had a family. Now I'm pregnant and engaged, but I feel satisfied with all the things I did. I'm ready to settle down. If you don't feel ready for a "mundane boring existence", don't force it on yourself!

You are not being stupid or selfish. Actually you are very smart. I have a couple of friends who married very young... one at 20 and one at 17!! They really regret it now. They both have children and the children have to come first, so they don't get to do what they want... EVER!! They will have to wait until the kids are older and don't need them so much.

If Pete wants to go with you, great, but I wouldn't stay home just for him. I understand your fears about that, but you really should put yourself first at this point in your life. If Pete really cares for you, he will understand that.

DJ 'H'

I think I will talk to him about it. Do you think I should specifically make a point of it - or just drop it in converstaion and see how he responds???

bizygurl

You need to do what is best for you. Im 27 almost 28 and there are some regrets that I have that I didn't do because I was worried how it was going to affect another person.

I love to travel I would give anything to be able to travel to a different country. I have never been outside of the united states or been across the united states for that matter and as long as money wan't an issue I wouldn't let anything or anyone stand in the way of that expirence. Luckily my husband likes to travel too and the only issue is our kids who are really to young and money.

You are so young have your whole life ahead. And if your saving money up to do this, please do it, I can't stress to you not to let things at home keep you from something you really want to do, because at some point you will probably regret it. And you are not selfish for wanting an opportunity like this.

Why doesn't your boyfriend go with you? I know it my be hard because of job situations, but since you have to have time to save up some money he could always put in for the time like say six months or a year from now, or whenever you have an idea on when you are going. If not, if he really truely honestly cares and loves you he won't stand in your way. Its not like your moving to another country you just visiting, that in its self would be pretty selfish on his part if he had a problem with it.

While your young and free of family obligtions is the perfect time to do this. Because ounce your married have a house and children (kids especiallly) being able to travel will be much harder and money will probably become more of an issue. You only live ounce.

DJ 'H'

You are right. I know Pete would not stand in my way - and he only wants me to be happy, and who knows he may want to come with me, I know he does like travelling Etc - I guess I am just fearing that he does not want to come then 1 - I will have to go alone and 2 - he and I may drift apart.