Hi My name is Sarah,

When I was a little girl, about 4 my mother moved in with her boyfriend "Brian". Things were all right at first but as time passed on he began to abuse me physically and mentally when my mother was at work. He would mostly beat on my older brother who stood up for himself. My mom has always thought that my brother got the worse of the abuse. But I have a secret that I have kept for a very long time.
Around the time when I was 5, when my mom wasn't home, Brian would make me go into his bed. He would fondle me and make me touch him as he touched me. As I grew older it got worse soon he was "Kissing" my private area and making me do the same to him. This in time leaded to sex, I was very young and very confused. I didn't understand what was happening, and when he told me not to tell "mommy" I didn't. This lasted until I was about 7. When we finally moved away from him and I grew a little I learned how wrong that was. I was embarrassed about it and too ashamed to tell anyone.
I tired forgetting about it for a long time; I didn't tell anyone until I was 13, but then the guy I told didn't seem to care. He made it seem as though I shouldn't complain that I was molested as I child because it happens to many girls. No parents know about this.
The man who molested me is my half sisters father.
I want to tell my mother, but I'm afraid. I also have a horrible relationship with my half sister because of this. I have not had any therapy for this.

Should I still tell my mother? Will it do any help ?

Yes it is OK to tell your parents. But, if you do not feel comfortable telling your mother or father yet, then tell a therapist or school counselor. Eventually, your mom will need to know, but do what you are comfortable with. Remember, chances are you are not the only one that he abused. If you speak up maybe others will follow. And if you voice what happened to you, you are preventing it from happening to other girls.

That's the thing I don't have anyone to talk to. I don't know how I fell sometimes I feel so ready to tell her, but I'm so scarred of how this will affect her. What will happen with my half sister. Things like that

Well I suggest you get some to help you deal with this. Talk to a professional, they could tell you what steps to take.
If this is interfering with the relationship between you and your sister it needs to be talked about and that man needs to be confronted and prosecuted. Tell your mom. Talk to someone about this. You should not have to bear this alone.

Remember, chances are you are not the only one that he abused. If you speak up maybe others will follow. And if you voice what happened to you, you are preventing it from happening to other girls maybe even your half sister. She might be to afraid to speak up too.
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But ultimately you need to do what you are ready to do. Put yourself first in this situation. You need help dealing with your feelings about the abuse. Your mom can help you get that help.

Thank you, I agree just I don't know how to tell anyone its not like you can just walk up to someone and be like yo I was molested :s it just doesn't work

Yea, That was what I was afraid of. Even though in many way I hate my half sister (not really her fault ) I don't want that to happen to her. I was thinking or writing my mom an e mail, wouldn't that be a good way?

If that would make you more comfortable telling her than yes write an e-mail. But then be prepared for her to come and talk to you. Things like this can't be dealt with without talking face to face. You are in my prayers.

thank you I think that is what I might do

Sarah, does your step sister's father spend any time with her? How old is she?

I understand that you may not like her, but don't you feel it an obligation to protect her from someone so vile?

If you were in her shoes, would you want someone to protect you?

Just think about that, let it soak in.

Please do it soon. Your sister needs your help just as much as you need help from your mom.

You make it sound like I am the bad guy, no I wouldn't want someone to hurt her. Just every time I look at her I see him she is like a tiny reminder every time I'm with her . She even has his creepy stare, but again no I wouldn't want that to happen to her, she is 9. I don't think he would do anything to her because I asked him why he did want he did to me and not his other daughter (not my half sister btw) and he sayd because doing it with his own daughter is wrong.

How old are you now? Are you in school? If so you can start with a counselor there, they can refer you to someone. Or you doctor can refer you to someone to talk to. A professional will be able to tell you what steps you need to take.
This man needs to be dealt with. He could be molesting other children.

Than k you so much. You have no idea how much I needed to hear that

There is a good chance he could be lying sweetie. Please tell someone so that you and your sisters get the help you all deserve and he pays for taking away your childhood.

I am 14 now and I will be in school in about 2 weeks

I'm seeing my mom tonight, maybe I should give her a letter then?

No, sweetie, I don't want you to think I think you are the bad guy, please don't think that.

Just what I am saying is that no matter what you feel for her, she should be protected.

You see, molesters are manipulators. Of course he is going to tell you he won't do to her what he did to you.

Someone needs to know about this, anyone, tell your Mom, through email like suggested above if you have to. But she is an innocent 9 year old.

What was done to you is terrible and I am so sorry someone that sick hurt you in that way. He is a terrible terrible man who does not deserve to see the light of day as far as I am concerned. You are not the bad guy, he is and someone should know.

You really should tel your parents maybe... they can get you therapy to help vent all those problems (if you want to that is) and I feel really bad for you but when you were younger you should have told her.

Thank you so much. You really have no idea how long I have struggled with this problem. I think I may tell her tonight when she picks up my brother.